surgery and treatment...

This week I had surgery to have my port put in, and I had my first two treatments. The surgery went fairly well. Instead of trying to start an IV like usual, they did it under ultra sound to begin with, knowing I'm a difficult stick. Once they got that started, they got me prepped for surgery. I have a 6-8 inch cut on my chest (below my shoulder really), and a 1/2 inch cut on my neck. When I came to, and still now, the one on my neck hurt so much worse than the other, which I think is odd. I guess it's just the location. I went from day surgery to the oncologist office for my first iron treatment. I was given a test dose of iron, and then the regular dose. About 20 minutes after I got home, I had hives all over me, and was wheezing when I was breathing. I took some benadryl, and tried to rest. It didn't do much for the hives, but helped the wheezing. Later that night the wheezing came back, so I took more benadryl. The next morning I called the oncologist, told them what happened (and what was continuing to happen), and they wanted me in immediatley. I went in, they gave me some new medicine (a steroid and benadryl type RX), and sent me on my way. I guess it's helped, a little, but not too much. The area around where the port was placed is still very red, like it's sunburned. Apparently I was pretty allergic to the iron I was given. When I went back on Friday for my treatment, my levels looked worse than they started out at, and my iron was changed. Before they gave me my treatment, they gave me some benadryl and a steroid through my port. So far, the worst side effect I've had from this treatment has been nausea and general blah feeling. I spent a good majority of the day laying on the couch, in and out of sleep. Hopefully the treatments will start working and be worth it all in the end.
In the middle of the week, between all of this, I went to see my neurologist. He extended my disability until April 4th. It's not what I wanted, since I was scheduled to go back March 1st, but it's what he and Russell think is best. We are at the beginning of getting things done, and they don't want to jeopardize that progress. I'm thankful for such a patient husband, persistent doctors, and an ever present God. I'm very blessed.

2011 so far...

I can't believe we are halfway through February and I haven't updated because so much has happened this year. I was scheduled to return to work on January 3rd, but I ended up being admitted to the hospital that day instead. After spending three days in the hospital, and being home until that Friday, I tried to go back on the 10th. I ended up at the doctor that afternoon, and being put back on disability that day. I was referred to two headache specialist that day, but it was February until I could see them.
In the meantime, I had blood work done at my primary doctor, just to see how everything was looking. That blood work came back, and showed I needed I was very anemic, and needed blood infusions. I was given a phone number, and so I called that number, and they answered as an oncologist office. I just about freaked out. When I went in to see the oncologist office the first time, they did more blood work, and when I went in today, the blood work looked worse than it did originally. A few other levels looked bad, so those will need to be watched. Apparently I'll be having blood work weekly, and I'll see the doctor weekly as well. I'll have blood infusions twice a week, and they are doubled up. I should have 12 infusions, instead of 24 since they are doubled. Today should have been the first infusion, but they couldn't find a vein. Originally they were going to do a picc line, but that would have to stay in my arm for about 6-8 weeks, and would be most likely get infected. So, instead, I'll be getting a port put in my chest like people do when they have chemo, so they will always have access to a vein.
Now, on to the headache updates. I have two new doctors looking at my migraines. One is working on the cause of the migraines, and the other is treating the pain mostly. They are both very optimistic, which is great. However, the number of tests, treatments, and doctor appointments I have coming up is astounding. I should be returning to work the first week of March, but my doctors and Russell aren't sure they want that just yet. At this point, nothing has changed. We are getting the ball rolling, but I'm still having migraines almost daily, I'm still very weak and passing out, and overall having trouble daily. So, I'm not sure what will happen with work.
I resigned, effective the end of the year, back in January. I know that me being out is not best for my kids, the district, or myself. This was before I knew about the budget cuts and IISD trying to get rid of teachers. However, knowing all of that, I'm so thankful I made that decision. I've been told if I don't come back by a certain date they will terminate my contract, but then I was told they wouldn't since I resinged and it's the end of the year. Basically, I don't have FMLA, because I was so sick last year as well and didn't work enough to be covered by that. It's stressful. However, we are trusting in God, and he hasn't failed us yet. I know I'll feel better after the blood infusions. I know my new headache doctors will find something that works. I know I'll find a new job that I love as much as teaching. I know we will be ok.

2010 - year in review

January - our Lousiana boys moved back to Lousiana, Jameson turned 2, and Penny was back in the hospital for what we were told was a "small" round of chemo.
February - had my gallbladder removed on the 1st, was told on the 6th that Penny was being put on life support due to pneumonia, gathered as a family on the 7th to speak with doctors about her chances at making it, gathered again as a family on the 10th to remove her from life support and she passed away, record snowfall on the 11-12, no school on the 12th, funeral on the 13. The rest of the month is just a blurr.
March- adjusting to life without Penny, and dealing with blackouts and migraines.
April- Lousiana boys came to visit the Saturday before Easter (just for the day), woke up Easter Sunday with the worst migraine ever. After multiple hospital and doctors visits, we found out it was vascultitis, and could be deadly. I was put on steroids, and stayed home from work most days. My kids prepared for TAKS without me, and I slowly spiraled into a deep depression.
May- MRIs, MRAs, CT scans, spinal taps, and more testing was done. First ride in an ambulance on Cinco De Mayo, after blacking out and not breathing for close to a minute at a time. I returned to work towards the end of May, but my class had been split, so I went to see my kids in other rooms.
June - The school year ended, but not the hospital and doctor visits. At the end of June I had another spinal tap, followed by a blood patch for a spinal headache, and spent my 28th birthday in the hospital. Our oldest nephew turned 8, hard to believe!
July-My birthday "party" at the horse races was ended early, when we left and were admitted into the hospital, just 2 days after my birthday. I spent Fourth Of July weekend at Baylor, and tried to, once again, get the same migraine under control. I felt better on our anniversary, the 9th, so we went back to the races, but they ended early due to the weather. The rest of July was spent resting, gearing up for my return to school.
August - Back to school was on my mind, and we had a few trainings. I got my classroom ready, and had a successful first day back. I loved teaching second grade, but my second day back was not as successful. Blackout in the hallway had me going home in the morning of the second day.
September-Not a good month, at all. Two car accidents in one week, I was placed on disability, and had two hospital stays. However, some new medicine was somewhat effective, so I guess that's positive! :) Maverick had emergency surgery for his bladder blockage, we have some expensive pets!
October- our youngest nephew turns 5, was told my original 4 weeks on disability was now 12 weeks, so I was determined to just be thankful for supportive co-workers, husband, and family. My pancreatitis came back, and that had me back in the hospital as well.
November-first Thanksgiving without Penny, her birthday, and Russell's birthday. Pretty rough month. Did the majority of my Christmas shopping in the middle of the night the moring after Thanksgiving, since I blacked out in Toys R Us at about 1:00 the morning after. My sweet husband turned 29, and I'm so thankful his loving parents raised him so well.
December- was told we couldn't have kids of our own, due to the blackouts, lupus, vascultitis, etc. That was pretty devestating. Returned to work on the 9th, and made it each day until the break, huge success!! Enjoyed lots of time with family and friends during Christmas festivities. Formally asked to be Kennie and Sarah's God-parents, and we were thrilled.

It wasn't an easy year, but I'm blessed I had Russell to hold my hand through the hard times, and laugh with me during the good times. My family never fails me, and we have true friends that are there for us in a heartbeat. And of course, we have a God that is ever present, even in the darkness, so we are never alone. We never went without, we never hit rock bottom, and we always knew the next day brought new beginnings. Hoping 2011 brings healthier days, more laughs, and fewer hopsital visits. :)

November Thankfuls....

This year I'm so very thankful for lots of things. Here are just a few (in no particular order)...

-grandparents that love each other and have been married for 60 plus years. They paid my way through college and left me with no student loan debt. They are truly amazing people.

-a mom that loves me, no matter what, and is always there for me. Although we don't always see eye to eye, I know I can always depend on her.

-my dad - even though he left when I was little, he didn't completely abandon us. I think he does the best he can to show he cares about my brother and me, and I appreciate the effort.

-a job I love, teaching kids I love, around people I love. It doesn't get much better than that!

-a brother I admire, a sister-in-law I wouldn't trade for the world, and two precious nephews that are growing up way too fast. I can't wait to see what the future holds for those two boys, but I kind of wish I could rewind a few years and hold them as babies again!

-in-laws that I love. Russell's brothers are like my own, whether they like it or not. :) I'd do anything in the world for those two, and I pray they find a life partner that makes them happy. I love my father-in-law, and miss my mother-in-law like crazy.

-pets that cost too much, but give us lots of laughs and love!

-reliable transportation and extended car warranties! We've used the extended warranty many times this year, and I've been very thankful to have it.

-medical insurance. With my health, I don't know what we'd do without it.

-my Uncle David. He keeps to himself, but he is an amazing man of God. He's selfless, he adores our family, and he would do anything for anyone. I honestly feel very blessed to have him as MY uncle, and I hope someday we can give him a great niece or nephew.

-Kennie and Sarah. What would I do without these 2? I think we need them as much as they need us. They really are like family to us, and we just love watching them grow up and mature each day.

-my boys back in Louisiana. I miss them tons, and I can't wait to see them again sometime (hopefully soon!).

-my God-son, Jameson. He's such a sweetheart, and so funny. I don't see him nearly as often as I'd like since I've been off work, but I think about him all the time. Love this kid, so much!

-my best friend, Kasey. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Growing up together, experiencing life together, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I wouldn't pick a different person as a best friend. We don't always agree, but we always support each other. I'm lucky enough to have her teach two doors down from me, how lucky can one girl get? People think we are twins or sisters, and some days it's as if we share a brain. She makes my bad days good, and my good days great. I don't know what I would ever do without her. If she were to move half a world away, I'd be so lost. She's life my other half.

-my other best friend, Russell. I couldn't have picked a better husband. Found my diary the other day, and I've been signing my name "Blaire Reagan" since 1994, when I was 12. We really didn't get along through middle school and high school, and really not in the early years of college either. There were some really bad days, but God had a plan, and God stuck to His plan for us. I'm so thankful we finally gave it over to Him, we stopped being stubborn, and let things work out the way He wanted. Russell puts up with every bit of me. The sickness, the grouchy, the mood swings because of medicine, the missed days at work, the doctor appointments, the lost appetite, the gained weight, the depressed mood, the need to get out of the house, the tears for no reason, he puts up with it all. He cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry, takes out the trash, walks the dog, does the litter box, feeds the pets, takes care of the cars, and of course, takes care of me. I don't know why he does it, but I'm sure glad he does. :)

-all knowing and ever present God. 2010 hasn't been friendly, but God hasn't failed us. He's taken care of us, even when I haven't been able to work. When Penny died and I thought our world was caving in. When they can't pin point what's wrong with me, but they know I need to stay in the hospital and repeat the same tests I've had over and over again. God is always there. We hear it in songs. We see it in unexpected checks. We see it in cards or emails. We see it in snow, on the night Penny passed away. God is always there. He will still be here. Even when my world feels like it's going to slowly crumble, God isn't going anywhere.

I'm thankful for LOTS of other things, but these are the only ones I can think of right now...

long time coming...

Things have been crazy around here the last few weeks. School started off with a bang. I adore my kids. They are just precious, and so incredibly sweet. Of course, I've had some complaints about people breathing on each other, dropping pencils and not knowing what to do about it, and tattling for people cutting in front of each other. I guess that's the typical second grade drama. However, I only made it a few weeks of school before being put on disability by my doctor. :(
I'm super bummed. We thought I suffered a stroke, because I had every symptom of one. Drooping of the left side of my mouth, slurring of speech, couldn't walk, weakness of my arm and leg on the left, memory loss, etc. After lots of tests, it was concluded that my complex migraines had once again shown up in a severe way with all the signs of a stroke. The only way for it to be treated is to treat the pain at the hospital. Last week I went to the ER 3 times, and was admitted for 2 days the 3rd time. They did a battery of tests, physical, speech, and occupational therapy. I now walk with a walker if I have to walk a decent distance. I can walk from the car into a restaruant, or from the couch to the restroom without feeling weakness, but not too far. I'm off for at least another two weeks, but it could be longer. I see my doctor this Friday, and still have to get in to see a specialist, so I think I may be off longer.
So, that was my health story of last week. On Saturday morning Russell woke up sick, and went to the clinic and got antibiotics. He never gets sick, so when he complains I know he's sick. When he got home, we noticed our cat was crying and being very clingy. We called the vet, and they said bring him in asap. So, we loaded the cat in his carrier and headed to the 24 hour vet hospital. Turns out, Maverick's bladder was about to rupture because it was blocked, and he could have died if we had not taken him in. The doctor told us he needed surgery right then and she walked out with him. We just stood there and looked at each other, wondering how much this was going to cost. They came in with an outrageous estimate, which involved Maverick staying in ICU for 4 days on a constant IV. They've done this before with Maggie, and we took her home that night and just watched her at home and she was fine. We ended up paying 1/3 of the cost (still a huge amount!), and brought him home the next night. He had surgery, a catheter, IV, two baths, pain meds, and lots of love while he was there. He's now on a special diet and refuses to take his medicine, so I get lots of scratches while I force him to take it. He's not a big fan of his new (more expensive) food. They also suggested we get him a water fountain, and she told us they usually run about $50.00, but we found one for about half the price, so we were happy. She said having fresh running water would help this not happen again. I'm just looking at it as an investment so we don't end up with crystals in his bladder ever again!!
Man, pets are expensive, but I guess so are my medical bills. Sometimes I wonder how Russell puts up with all of us! :)

always, sometimes, never

I always....
-fall asleep on my left side first thing at night, even though I try other ways, the left side is how I end up falling asleep.
-start each day off with a diet coke.
-want a blanket on me if I'm in bed or on the couch, so we keep the house pretty cool/cold.
-cheer for the Dallas Cowboys, no matter who they are playing or if they are losing terribly.
-rub my feet together right before falling asleep.
-have trouble laughing and walking at the same time (strange, I know).
-look forward to fall because I love the cooler weather, football, chili for dinner, and the color changes!!

I sometimes....

-have my diet coke in the form of a fountain drink in the morning (that's how I prefer it)

-walk the dog, but usually let Russell do the honors

- only snooze for 30 minutes, but usually longer

- stay up past 9:30 on a school night, but not usually

- like to have pickles with my grilled cheese from Sonic (yum!)

I never...

-walk the dog alone at night

-clean for the fun of it

-remember to buy stamps at the store

-stay up late on a school night

-wear shoes around the house

-pass up the opportunity to record/watch a new murder mystery/cop documentary

new school year...

It's been one week and two days and I'm exhausted. I have an amazing class, they are so sweet. We have lost a second grade teacher, so I got four of her kiddos. The entire losing a teacher situation is very sad, but I hope her kids adjust well. The other kids and I have a great bond. I look forward to a great year with them. So far, my kids enjoy telling me about their future plans to outer space (they just plan to call NASA and tell them they need to get on the spaceship, simple as that!), complaining that people are breathing on them, and they LOVE when I read them books. I've had one blackout episode, last Tuesday, and I was sent home. It was highly disappointing, but I'm just taking it a day at a time.
We were scheduled to go to Louisiana to see our boys this weekend, but we've cancelled the trip. We thought we wouldn't have a game this Saturday, since it's Labor Day weekend, but we do have a game. Russell didn't want to miss the game, and apparently there are storms headed to Louisiana, so we aren't going. I'm bummed we aren't seeing the boys, but I'm sure we will eventually. :)
That's the update for now. More to come soon, if I remember...