hits you like a ton of bricks...

Today I upgraded my phone to a new i-phone. Not the newest, but newer than the one I had. I had to manually transfer all of my contacts over for some reason. When I got to Russell's mom's name, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What do I do? Delete her numbers? Add them to my new phone? Deleting them makes the most sense, I mean, there's nobody there to answer, but that broke my heart to think about, so I added the numbers to my new phone. That's probably ridiculous, but I couldn't just delete them. She's still on the answering machine at home, and I want to record her voice for our future kids to hear. Makes me miss her, and makes it all rush back that she's really gone. I hope this gets easier with time, but we still have our first real holidays to go through without her, so I'm sure it will get worse before it gets better.