stream of consciouness post

This post may make no sense, and I'm ok with that. I will probably have lots of things spelled incorrectly, and I'm ok with that as well. This is for me really, not you, and I'm ok with that.
I had my gallbladder out last week. I was excited about it at first. I counted down the days, the hours, really. Now, it still hurts. I have to use a step ladder to get into bed. Our bed is high, but not THAT high. I'm just sore. The first food I was able to keep down was fried chicken. I shouldn't even know that because I should have never even tried fried chicken, but I did. Russell stopped at Chicken Express to get me some mashed potatoes and got himself some chicken. The chicken smelled so good, so I had to try it to see how it was. It was good, and worth it. I guess when applesauce, pudding, sherbert, and toast fail you, fried chicken will be there. I took off five days to recover and slept each day away. Those were five fast days. I didn't really miss school much, but maybe it was because I wasn't thinking clearly, medicine can do that to you sometimes. I'm back at school now, missing home, and missing getting lots of sleep. Even though I rested so much last week, I'm exhausted today and would fall asleep in an instant if I closed my eyes.
Russell's mom is very sick, like dying sick. This is something we should have expected, but really didn't. When her cancer came back, they thought they could kill it with one round of chemo, which became a hospital stay. That hospital stay turned into pneumonia, and now here we are. They told us she was on a ventilator, but yesterday they used the words "life support". I prefer the word ventilater much better. She's laying in a bed lifeless basically, living only because we have her plugged into the wall. Just a week ago we were chatting on the phone, knowing the luekemia was back, but never dreaming we would be here today. We aren't ready to say goodbye, and we selfishly want her to stay here with us. She spoke to me in my dream last night. Is that crazy? Really. Does that make me crazy? Maybe so, but it did comfort me. She told me that we would all be ok, and that it was ok to move on with our lives. I feel like God is preparing our hearts to say our earthly goodbyes to her, but it will be very difficult. I hope she knows how thankful I am that she raised such an amazing son. Russell has been so strong the past few days. It will be a rocky few weeks, but I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather have by my side.