"parenting" teenagers

We have been VERY busy lately. We finished up the summer by going to nationals for summer basketball. De'Von didn't play much basketball this summer, but he had a ton of fun and enjoyed being a part of a team. We put him on the summer team so he could have something positive to work for, and it worked. It cost us a fortune, we didn't get to have a summer vacation, but it was well worth it. De'Von, and his older brothers, have all changed so much. More on that later...
School has started back. I should take pictures of my room and post those on here...so next year I can remember how I want it to look. I only have 16 kids, right now. I have a really sweet class, so I have high hopes for this year. They are very different from my class last year. My kids last year could really read my moods, they knew how to make me laugh, and we were able to have alot of fun, as well as learn. But, the kids last year also drove me a little crazy and gave me lots of headaches. The kids this year aren't as goofy, they are just sweet and quiet, for the most part. It should be a good year.
De'Von is now playing football and Russell is an assistant coach. Both are having a ton of fun. De'Von is having trouble getting back into the swing of things at school. He just struggles with focusing and paying attention. He knows we have high expectations for his academic growth, but he is having a hard time meeting those expectations. This is where I am struggling. I know he can do better, but I don't know how to make him do better. I thought football would be enough encouragement, and at times, it is. He currently has several grades to bring up before report cards (3 weeks), so we will see. He seems confident that he can do it, so we are trying to be supportive. The older two brothers, both in middle school, are doing really well this year. They are keeping their grades up (both have one grade to get up by report cards, BIG improvement over last year), and their attitudes are much better. Every night we spend HOURS getting homework done. This has made a big difference for the boys. They have never had anyone sit down with them and go over homework with them, but I do that every night. Of course, most nights I just want to go home, but I know it's important for them. We have football practice 2-3 nights a week, so I don't get home until at least 10:00 on those nights after practice and homework is done and all the boys are fed. On Wednesdays I tutor at the Big Dogs office (Big Dogs is the organization we play sports for, they have a tutoring program as well), then I help my boys with homework, so I don't get home until really late that night as well. So, it's been challenging and an adjustment. I'm used to getting home by 6-7 each night, having dinner with Russell, and going to bed early, but not this year. But, I know it's worth it since they are all doing better, for the most part. We have high hopes for these boys.
I never knew what a challenge it would be as a "mother" and coaches wife for a youth football team. Some of the other parents are incredibly negative, so that's also been difficult for me. At our game last night, some of the mothers were complaining about the coaching, so I had to just get up and move to the other end of the field and sit by myself. Some moms just want the boys to win, and I just don't think it's all about winning. We just want him to go out there, do his best, and have fun. So, it's hard when I hear things being yelled on the field like "IF YOU DON'T WIN THIS GAME, YOU ARE NEVER PLAYING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!" The boys hear those things and get so bummed and then quit trying. It's very disappointing to see grown women acting like that.
Although I'm not their mother, some days I feel like I am. I get all the phone calls and emails from teachers and counselors. I get online to check their grades daily. I make sure they have what they need for school and have their homework done. I make sure they have had dinner and don't need lunch money or want extra money for snacks. We gave them their talk about making good choices with girls and having positive friends. We make sure they make it to practice with all of their needed equipment, and if they lose a game, we help make it okay. We know their hopes and dreams for their future and talk to them daily about how to get to that goal. I know there is so much more to parenting, and I really admire all the parents out there. But since we can't have kids of our own, this is our little piece of parenting, and we wouldn't trade it.