new layout!!!!!

I am in DESPERATE need of a new layout. Luckily Jenny from Pink Armchair Designs is having a design giveaway. I would love to win one of her fall designs. If YOU want a design you should check out her site. Her prices are very reasonable and she is SO incredibly creative. I wish I had an ounce of her skill.

www.pinkarmchairdesigns.com

"parenting" teenagers

We have been VERY busy lately. We finished up the summer by going to nationals for summer basketball. De'Von didn't play much basketball this summer, but he had a ton of fun and enjoyed being a part of a team. We put him on the summer team so he could have something positive to work for, and it worked. It cost us a fortune, we didn't get to have a summer vacation, but it was well worth it. De'Von, and his older brothers, have all changed so much. More on that later...
School has started back. I should take pictures of my room and post those on here...so next year I can remember how I want it to look. I only have 16 kids, right now. I have a really sweet class, so I have high hopes for this year. They are very different from my class last year. My kids last year could really read my moods, they knew how to make me laugh, and we were able to have alot of fun, as well as learn. But, the kids last year also drove me a little crazy and gave me lots of headaches. The kids this year aren't as goofy, they are just sweet and quiet, for the most part. It should be a good year.
De'Von is now playing football and Russell is an assistant coach. Both are having a ton of fun. De'Von is having trouble getting back into the swing of things at school. He just struggles with focusing and paying attention. He knows we have high expectations for his academic growth, but he is having a hard time meeting those expectations. This is where I am struggling. I know he can do better, but I don't know how to make him do better. I thought football would be enough encouragement, and at times, it is. He currently has several grades to bring up before report cards (3 weeks), so we will see. He seems confident that he can do it, so we are trying to be supportive. The older two brothers, both in middle school, are doing really well this year. They are keeping their grades up (both have one grade to get up by report cards, BIG improvement over last year), and their attitudes are much better. Every night we spend HOURS getting homework done. This has made a big difference for the boys. They have never had anyone sit down with them and go over homework with them, but I do that every night. Of course, most nights I just want to go home, but I know it's important for them. We have football practice 2-3 nights a week, so I don't get home until at least 10:00 on those nights after practice and homework is done and all the boys are fed. On Wednesdays I tutor at the Big Dogs office (Big Dogs is the organization we play sports for, they have a tutoring program as well), then I help my boys with homework, so I don't get home until really late that night as well. So, it's been challenging and an adjustment. I'm used to getting home by 6-7 each night, having dinner with Russell, and going to bed early, but not this year. But, I know it's worth it since they are all doing better, for the most part. We have high hopes for these boys.
I never knew what a challenge it would be as a "mother" and coaches wife for a youth football team. Some of the other parents are incredibly negative, so that's also been difficult for me. At our game last night, some of the mothers were complaining about the coaching, so I had to just get up and move to the other end of the field and sit by myself. Some moms just want the boys to win, and I just don't think it's all about winning. We just want him to go out there, do his best, and have fun. So, it's hard when I hear things being yelled on the field like "IF YOU DON'T WIN THIS GAME, YOU ARE NEVER PLAYING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!" The boys hear those things and get so bummed and then quit trying. It's very disappointing to see grown women acting like that.
Although I'm not their mother, some days I feel like I am. I get all the phone calls and emails from teachers and counselors. I get online to check their grades daily. I make sure they have what they need for school and have their homework done. I make sure they have had dinner and don't need lunch money or want extra money for snacks. We gave them their talk about making good choices with girls and having positive friends. We make sure they make it to practice with all of their needed equipment, and if they lose a game, we help make it okay. We know their hopes and dreams for their future and talk to them daily about how to get to that goal. I know there is so much more to parenting, and I really admire all the parents out there. But since we can't have kids of our own, this is our little piece of parenting, and we wouldn't trade it.

update

Lots has happened since my last post. Our trip to Austin for the basketball tournament was cancelled, which was such a bummer. Our team has done so well this summer, but we are looking forward to the practices and tournaments to be over. We have a tournament this weekend and then nationals the next week/weekend. After that basketball will be over and football will start. We will put De'Von (the kid that was in my class last year that we have in basketball this summer) in football for the fall. He should be really good at football, and he is so excited to play. He will only get to play if he keeps his grades up and behaves. So, this will be a big test for him, and for us. It won't be easy to tell him he can't play, but it's the deal we have made.

Summer school has ended, I turned 26, and Russell and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. I must say, I love being married. Russell ended up working later than expected the night of our anniversary, and I tried to not let that make me too unhappy. Sometimes I get unrealistic and expect the impossible. There wasn't anything he could do about it. Once he got there, I forgot all about him being late, and remembered the joy I felt the day I married him. We went out to eat with Kasey and Lee and had a great time celebrating. We are really going to celebrate our anniversary on the 19th when we go see Jerry Seinfeld in Dallas. That was part of my gift to Russell. He loves Jerry's comedy, so I thought that would be great fun. He's pretty excited. Russell got me a new iPod and lots of iTunes money to load up my new toy. On Friday morning I went and stood in line to get Russell the last part of his gift, the new iPhone. He has been talking about wanting this phone since they talked about coming out with the second one. It's been on his outlook calendar and he's been doing research. When I told him I would go get it for him, he got so excited. So, I got up super early, waited in the forever long line, and hoped they would have enough by the time I got in there. Luckily, after a few hours in line, I got him a phone. He was like a kid in a candy store when he got his hands on it. So, he has been playing with his new phone all weekend and I've been playing with my new iPod. We are such nerds. Luckily we are nerds in love.

The other adventure I've started on is trying to get over the abuse I went through as a kid. I was abused (in all ways imaginable) by a man that lived with us when I was in elementary school. I don't talk about it much (unless you happen to be my best friend or husband), but it's something I deal with daily. It's caused a ton of depression, anxiety, anger, and other negative feelings for my entire life. I didn't start talking about it until my senior year of high school, and I've never really dealt with it. Since it affects my marriage and my life in general on a daily basis, I decided it was best to deal with it and stop letting it control my life. We have tried counseling, but I always find an excuse or reason not to go. I just don't feel comfortable with it. So, I ordered a Beth Moore CD series about healing from childhood abuse. She is a victim of childhood abuse herself, so it all really hits home. So far it's been great and I feel much better already. I've had to have a few very difficult conversations with my mother, but hopefully it will help us both heal. I am confident I am on the road to recovery!!

Tonight we took our boys (De'Von and his two brother's) to the Air Hogs game. The Air Hogs are a new minor league baseball team in Grand Prairie. We had a great time. The field was really nice, the tickets were cheap, the seats were great, and we all had a good time. Russell took some pictures while we were there, but for some reason he only got one picture with the boys in it. It only has the top of their heads. I'll try to get a better picture of them next time...

This is them checking out the field from the outfield area. There is even a swimming pool at this place!! You can swim out in center field during the game! How crazy is that??

Finally, here are some pictures of Maggie and Maverick. These aren't the best pictures, just new. They are from Russell's new phone, and they won't stay still, but I just wanted to add them anyway.

Maggie sitting on the couch, ready to jump off and pounce Maverick...

Maverick sitting on his side table. Yes, his side table, he's claimed it as his own. It's blurry because he never sits still for longer than two seconds. He's pretty crazy.

4 years ago...

Four years ago today Russell asked me to be his wife. :) It was a Sunday, actually, it was Father's Day. I've always felt a little guilty about getting engaged and taking all the glory on Father's Day, but I don't think my dad cared. When I reminded Russell this morning that it was the anniversary of our engagement, he said it was the best decision he ever made and I think I'd have to agree! :) It was not a romantic engagement, although it could have been if I would have been patient. I knew he had the ring, because I demanded I go with him to pick the ring out. Since we had been together so long I was getting a little anxious. He knew I wouldn't wait, so he just popped the question in a very non romantic way. However, the words he said will always be very special to me. I'm very thankful he picked me. :)
We have a basketball tournament this weekend in the Dallas area, and we are traveling to Austin next weekend for another tournament. Kasey, Lee, and Jameson will be going to Austin with us for the out of town tournament, I'm so excited!! My birthday is the Monday after we get back from the Austin tournament, so I think we will celebrate while we are down there. I guess when you have kids you start planning your birthday celebrations and family vacations around their sporting events, huh? Oh well, we will have a great time!!

quick update...

School is out for summer. I had planned on doing NOTHING (with the exception of basketball practices and tournaments). When I say NOTHING I just mean I planned on sleeping late, spending time with Kasey and Jameson, and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, but it's amazing how plans change...
- Last week I helped run the summer spectacular (fancy way to say vacation Bible school) for Irving Bible Church. We don't go to church there, but they asked me to help out because lots of the kids from our school were expected to attend. They do it at the middle school right next to my school, so it draws a pretty big crowd from my campus. They had a great turn out, and I had lots of fun. I think we will be visiting that church very soon...
- Just when I thought my official summer commitments were over, I was asked to teach the last 3 weeks of summer school. Summer school runs for 4 weeks, and apparently someone can't do it for 3 of those 4 weeks, so I am. I wasn't thrilled about the idea at first, but I'm looking forward to the extra cash at the end because I know I'll be able to put it to good use. Since summer school only runs until noon, I figure I shouldn't complain...
- We got a kitten 3 weeks ago. He's now about 12 weeks old and his name is Maverick. At first his name was Max, because I thought that went cute with Maggie, but Max just didn't fit him well. Maverick and Maggie get along very well. The first few days were quite and adjustment for everyone, but now they love to play and take afternoon naps together. I'll try to get some pictures of them sometime soon.
- My mysterious "spot" is still there and the medicine hasn't helped. In fact, while on the medicine I've gotten another spot. So, I'm not really sure what to think about that.
- I cried on the last day of school and I really miss my kids. As much as they drive me crazy some days, they really mean so much to me. Towards the end of the year I started to feel a tug at my heart to possibly change my career, not a total change, just a slight tweak. What I love most about my job is getting to know my kids and working on a one on one basis with them. I love that they feel comfortable coming to me when they are mad, sad, scared, abused, proud, happy, and every other emotion. I don't love teaching. I don't dislike teaching, just don't love it. I just see teaching as my way to be there for my kids. If that makes any sense...Anyway, I have felt a slight tug to possibly go back to school and get my masters to become a school counselor. The crazy thing is that a few days after I had this sudden thought, the school counselor at my school told me she was thinking I should do the same thing. She told me this before I told her about how I was feeling. Very strange, very scary, but very exciting. It will be a year, at least, before I make the decision to go back to school. So, we will see where that leads.

thankful...

Although my blog is titled the "queen of drama", I wish I wasn't one. My family has always labeled me that, it's annoying. I'm trying to look for reasons to be thankful each day, instead of always focusing on the negative. So, here are some reasons I'm very thankful today...

1. I'm thankful that we had a very successful field trip today. My kids behaved very well, and it went really smoothly overall. We went to the Cowgirl Museum in Ft. Worth, a stop you must make!

2. I'm thankful that my sweet husband took a day off of work to join my kids on the field trip! He didn't even know where we were going when he asked off at work, he just did it because he knew I needed him to. He was so good with the kids! I put him in charge of my camera and he was sure to take shots of all of them riding the bucking horse and dressing up like cowboys. Such a supportive husband!!

3. I'm thankful that we were able to buy Russell a new car on Saturday. We got him a 2007 Toyota Corolla that is slightly used. It will be perfect for him for work. Since he's already put about 10,000 miles on our CX-7 since December, this will be a better choice gas price wise. Our CX-7 takes the most expensive gas because it has a turbo engine, and it only gets 18 miles a gallon. His new car will get him 35 miles a gallon, takes less gas, and takes the cheapest gas!! ALL GOOD NEWS!!!

4. I'm thankful that I'm now driving myself around! My seizure medicine is (and has been!) working, so we feel comfortable with me driving now. Since we got Russell the Toyota, I'm driving the Mazda, which I LOVE!!!

5. I'm thankful that my parents took amazing care of my 1998 Honda Civic. Yes, we still had the old blue civic. My step dad has been driving it for the past few years, and they have been sure to take extra good care of it, giving it lots of TLC. Well, last night we decided to sell it at CarMax. We held onto it while we had 1 car, just incase we ever needed it for something, but now we don't. So, we took it up there just HOPING we could get SOMETHING for it. Turns out they gave us $2500.00 for it. That's amazing to me. It had over 150,00 miles on it and is 10 years old, but my parents took really good care of it.

6. I'm thankful because with that money from the Civic we will be able to pay off our credit card debt! :)

7. I'm thankful that "D" (as mentioned 2 posts ago) and Kennie's summer basketball season starts tomorrow night. Our first tournament is this weekend. I'm so excited for them. I'm praying that God will make them better friends. Kennie is not handling having "D" around very well.

8. I'm thankful that my mom and I are speaking again. Long story, but we weren't, and now we are!

9. I'm thankful that my God had my dermatologist call me back. My "spot" is still there, but I was too scared to call back about it. I just kept thinking it would go away, but it hasn't. They called last Friday just to check on it. When I told them it was still there they said that they want to see me ASAP, but only when all the doctors have appointments available so I can see all three at the same time. I wasn't willing to take off of work for it, so I'm going next Friday when we have a weather day. I'm so glad that they called and checked on it, and listened to my concerns when I told them it wasn't better. We will see what they say when it's three doctors.

10. I'm thankful I only have 14 more days until summer, school days that is. Two of those days are half days, so that's even better. I've had a great time with my kids this year, but I'm tired. I was so nervous about moving up to fourth grade, but I think it was the best choice for me. I've loved my kids and the age they are at. You can joke with them, but they know when you are being serious and they need to stop. This time last year I was counting down the days and so excited for the last day. I was so miserable and just ready for it to be over. Although I am counting down the days this year, it's only because I'm exhausted. I will truly miss these kids, they have taught me alot this year. I will enjoy my first few days of summer, as I lay on the couch and rest, but then I'll be sad, no doubt.

Alright, enough of the sappy stuff. I'm just really thankful today and feeling very blessed. Hopefully I'll see the positive things more often. :)

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