they call me the queen of drama....

lately...

2011-04-26T20:34:00.002-05:00

We had a great Easter Sunday. Unfortunately, I was sick on Friday and Saturday, and missed seeing my family on Saturday. We went to church with Kennie and Sarah on Sunday, and really enjoyed it. We have been going to a new church lately, and I think we are actually going to a meeting this week about a group they have there, more on that another day. It's a very exciting thing, but I don't want to share too much yet. :)
Went to the doctor last week. I was running a fever, and I needed a new inhaler and something for back pain. She gave me meds for what was causing fever, and everything else I needed. We discussed my 5k and training. I told her that my weight loss was stand still, so we discussed some ideas. She suggested I not weigh in each week, for sure not each day. That's not easy to do. We decided that I couldn't do it with diet alone (unlike what some people will tell you with WW). I've taken a no excuses approach to my training for the 5k. I went on Sunday, even though I would typically use the whole "day of rest" excuse (lame, I know). Monday, I had my treatment, and got sick 2 times afterwards, but we still went and made the walk (1.25 miles, with hills, killer for me and the dog). We went again today. Russell says it will get easier. I'm not sure when that happens. I do find myself enjoying moments (small moments, but moments). Going uphill, however, is not enjoyable. The first day we went, Maggie was dragging half way through. At one point we stopped to help a lady with directions, and Maggie sprawled out in the grass. By today, she was actually still trotting up until the last quarter mile. Yesterday I left my inhaler at home, and failed to use it prior to our walk. I wanted to quit, send Russell home to get the car, and be done because I was having trouble breathing. Instead, I finished, and was so proud when I was done. I have plans for tomorrow night, so I plan to wake up in the morning and walk on the elliptical. By the time May 22nd gets here (the day of the 5k), I'll be good to go. I think the area we are walking that day is flat, and I'm walking hills here at home, so I should be ok that day.
This week we have TAKS testing at school, so I've been helping with that and have been out of my room. I miss my kids, but hallway monitoring hasn't been too bad. My bestie is leaving on Friday for Italy with her hubby to find a house, and then they come back, only to move there in June. I will miss her so much. So many changes coming so soon. Moving, changing jobs, best friend moving, changing churches, starting the adoption process (possibly...). God has big plans!

should be worried.

2011-04-16T22:29:00.005-05:00

We have lots of changes coming up, and I should be worried, but I'm not. -I've resigned from my teaching position effective the end of the school year, and I have no clue what I'm doing after that. Not teaching means I have to clean out my classroom and get a new job. I should be worried, but I'm not. -We are moving out of our house and into our best friend's house when they move to Italy in June. They will be gone for 2 years, so we are going to move into their house and selling our condo. I should be packing, tossing our junk, and worrying about selling this place, but I'm not. -I'm doing a 5K on May 22nd, and there is no way I could do a 5K today, so I should be worried, but I'm not. -My migraine treatment (the one I did in the hospital and now do at home) has become ineffective. It's just not working like it did at first. Also, my blood work isn't where it should be. I should be worried, but I'm not. I have no idea when I stopped worrying about things, but I have. God has completely taken my worries away, and it's a great feeling. I know that not teaching next year is the right decision, and that is affirmed in my heart each and every day. However, I do hope to volunteer at the school with Irving Bible Church, so I'm not leaving completely. Not having a job isn't worrying me, because I know God will provide something I am able to do, and that makes me happy. Luckily, I'll be paid through August, so that gives me some time to find something. With selling our condo, I feel bad that I'm not worried, like something is wrong with me. Maybe when we are in the middle of the process I'll feel different. Knowing we have a place to live during this time makes it easier. Today, I went to walk the track for my 5K training. I planned to walk 1/2 a mile (2 times around). After the second lap, my back was in intense pain, but I felt like I had plenty of energy to go a third lap, so we did. After the third, I really wanted to do a fourth, but my back just wouldn't let me. We plan to go each weekend to increase my distance between now and the 5K at the end of May. We may even go back tomorrow to do 4 laps. :) I felt great (mentally and emotionally) when I was done. As far as the migraines and blood work, I know the migraines will decrease after the school year. That may sound terrible, but it's just the truth. Unfortunatley, the migraines were pretty bad this week, the medicine wasn't working, so I was out Monday and Tuesday. I'm so thankful my sub is still there everyday. Once the year is over, I look forward to seeing how the migraines change. I'll end with this, a picture of Kennie and Sarah after their city championship games. Both of their teams won (Kennie's game was a blowout, Sarah won by 1 point!), and they were both MVP's of their game. We couldn't be prouder of these two. Little kids went up to both of them after their games wanting their autographs. : ) And the best part, they are just as good students are they are athletes.

5K

2011-04-09T20:33:00.002-05:00

I've decided to do a 5K on May 22nd with my best friend's mom. It's a weight watcher's 5K, and I'm really excited. I just called a family member to tell them about it, and they laughed at me. Yep, nice family support there. Not sure I want them at the finish line cheering me on any longer. I'll be training until the day of, and then I'll go and do the best I can. I ordered a personalized shirt, with my inspiraton on the back. It says "To play chase with my future children". I wish I would have waited a few minutes longer until after the phone call. I would have made it say "To prove my ____ wrong!" Yep, I'm mad.

exhausted

2011-04-04T18:43:00.002-05:00

Today was my first day back since January, and I only went one day in January. The day went really well with my kids, and I am so thankful I still have my long term sub. She is doing most of the teaching, and I'm pulling small groups. This way if I miss due to having a bad day or needing to go to the doctor, they will get the instruction from her they are used to. After school I had another treatment, which always wipes me out. This time was even worse than usual, because they doubled the benadryl they normally give me, so the drive home was tricky. I'm home now, tired from the day, and even more exhausted from my treatment. I did my weigh in this morning, and gained. :( I shouldn't be too upset about it, since I did pretty much what I wanted Thursday-Sunday of last week, including ElChico's, Cheesecake Factory, Starbucks, and other junk. I'm back on track this week, and looking forward to losing what I've already regained. I could be really bummed about it, but I'm trying to just get over it so I can move on. Hoping for a good week at school, and a good week staying on point with weight watchers.

back on weight watchers - week 1

2011-03-30T23:23:00.005-05:00

So, last Monday, the 21st, I weighed myself, entered it into weight watchers (very disappointed with myself at the gain since the beginning of the year), and decided I was done gaining. It doesn't matter how many medications and steroids doctors give me, I can make some changes, so I did. When I got back on the scale this past Monday (the 28th), I lost 8.8 pounds, in one week! I was simply amazed. I didn't make excellent choices all week, but I did make much better choices. I was worried though, because Friday night I went with some friends to Winstar and had Starbucks on the way, and ate at Toby Keith's Bar and Grill while we were there. I ordered without really thinking (it was 11:00 at night, I was hungry), and had a cheeseburger, with fries. Even with all of that (and I'm sure other unhealthy decisions), I still lost. I didn't even workout, not once. In fact, I got on the weight watchers message board the Monday I decided to start over, worried about not being able to work out due to the blackouts. I was encouraged by so many others that said they lost weight simply by sticking to their points, and then were able to workout once they were in better shape. I've worked out in the past, and I'm hoping I can again soon when my blood counts are higher. Today, I did a 10 minute kickboxing session, which is so incredibly short, but I stopped before I blacked out. Tomorrow, I plan to do atleast 10-15 minutes on the elliptical. I'm encouraged by the loss, and this week has been pretty good as well. I'm trying to stay off the scale until Monday morning, but I'm positive it will show a loss as well. I start back to work on Monday, against a few of my doctor's suggestions. They didn't tell me I couldn't go back to work, but they did tell me they were concerned about it. I had a 4 hour doctor's appointment on Monday, and they were testing my memory and comprehension. I did ok on the comprehension, but not too fabulous on the memory tests. With the memory tests not being too great, and me being unable to track conversations when over stimulated, the doctor is concerned with me returning. However, I really want to go back, finish out the year with my kids, and then move on to something different. Luckily, the sub my kids have had is going to stay with me, lesson plan, and help grade papers. I am so blessed to have her stay! She will be there incase something happens to me, if I need to go to the doctor, and so I don't get overwhelmed in general. This is such a blessing for me, and I know it will make going back so much easier. I know some people won't understand why I will have extra help in my room, but after the number of blackouts, falls, migraines, and concussions I've had, it's nice to have some help. Tonight, Russell and I started talking about possibly taking a cruise sometime in August or September. We haven't been anywhere since 2006, and it gives me something to work towards. :) He isn't 100% sold on the cruise idea, after the cruise that had the rescued recently, but I think I almost have him convinced. If he had his way, we would go to Ixtapa, Mexico, where he went with his family while he was in high school. Unfortunatley, those all inclusives are about twice the price of a cruise, so I think a cruise it is. We will see. I'm hoping we can get away soon. Of course, our best friends are moving to Italy, so we will (or I will) be making that trip within the next two years hopefully. So, that's all for now. I'm 8.8 pounds down, and hopefully by Monday I can add to that number. :)

getting real - weight issues

2011-03-21T19:27:00.003-05:00

I believe I've been overweight my entire life, but I was very comfortable in my own skin in high school. I honestly don't recall being bullied or anything, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. Apparently prior to my blackouts my favorite breakfast food was sausage rolls and now I can't stand them, so there is no telling what I don't remember. However, I do recall being "ok" with were I was in high school. When I went off to college I gained some weight. It was a combination of getting depressed, not making healthy food choices, and sitting in my dorm room when I wasn't in class. My second year of college, I ate green beans out of the can instead of going to the cafeteria for dinner, but I think I also made many trips to the donut shop for breakfast, so I'm not sure what happened with my weight that year. During my third year away at school I took some medication for my endometriosis, and the doctor warned me I would gain weight, my bones would become brittle, but I thought it was worth the risk. Gain weight I mostly certainly did. The medication (at the time) was only FDA approved to be taken 6 months of your life, and I took it for 6 months. During that time, I gained over 40 pounds. A month after being taken off of the medication, I fell down a flight of stairs, and broke my leg, foot, and ankle (guess my bones did become rather brittle). I ended up having surgery, and being stuck in bed or in a chair for 3 months, and just gained more weight. In a matter of a few years (since leaving high school), I had gained about 75 pounds. UNREAL. But, sadly, it didn't stop there. After my mom got sick with cancer, I moved home, and Russell and I got engaged. I bought a wedding dress that was too small, and was determined to fit into it by the wedding. By the next summer (the time of our wedding), the dress was a little too big. I was so glad I made some progress, in the right direction. To be honest, I'm not sure what I did to make that happen. I was sick during that spring, couldn't keep food down, maybe that's how I lost some weight? After getting married, I got comfortable, we enjoyed eating out, and we both gained weight. Since that time, I've been joined and cancelled at Weight Watchers and Curves. When I stick with them, I'm successful. Last January (2010) I was determined to lose weight and get healthy, and I was doing well. I had lost 20 pounds, and then I got sick again. This time they put me on steroids, and I gained 30 pounds, 10 more than I had lost. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. At the beginning of this year I rejoined both Curves and Weight Watchers, was ready to do well, and BAM!, more steroids, and I've gained MORE weight. Really? I've also been told I will not be able to lose weight unless I take this magic medication for my PCOS. When I take it, I do lose weight, but it makes me miserably ill.
So, here I am, weighing more than I ever have, and more frustrated than I've ever been. I black out when I try to work out. It doesn't matter if I eat, don't eat, eat half of what I've been eating, I still gain weight. I'm on steroids each time I have a blood infusion, and each time they give me the steroids, they give me more and more. I've planned out all my meals for this week, I'm staying on my points, and I'm hoping this works for this week. I need some progress in the right direction.
Slowly, but surely, someday I'll conquer this, I hope.

spring break vacation

2011-03-13T18:43:00.002-05:00

I'll be spending spring break in a hospital in Dallas, fun times. My brother told me to enjoy my vacation, I'm sure I will. The plan is I'll be taken off all my meds and started on new ones, it will be an interesting week. I'm glad they are doing this while I'm admitted though, since it does involve being taken off seizure medication. The treatment I'm having says I should be headache free by the end of the week. Headache free? I'm not sure how that feels! :)
I look forward to feeling better, much better. This is not what I wanted for my life, if I'm being honest. I want to be the kind of wife that can cook and clean, not so dependent upon Russell. My deepest desire is to be a mom, which is getting more complicated. With each new issue uncovered by doctors, it's becoming clearer that we won't have our own children. Luckily, we have had the desire to adopt for a long time. Sadly, adoption is very expensive, and so are medical bills. The thought of not being able to adopt because of the cost, makes me really sad. We are just keeping faith that it will all work out. Our plan is to start the process of adoption when I turn 30, which is the summer of 2012. In the next year, we will be moving into our best friend's house (they are moving to Italy for two years), sell our condo, I'll be getting a new job, hopefully feeling better, and lose some weight (or lots...). We plan (right now...) to try to adopt a boy (first, we may adopt a girl later), and we aren't particular about the race.
We are really looking forward to being parents someday, even though it will involve lots of changes. Last night we were walking through Target and there was a (white) couple with their (African American) little boy. He was probably about two and just as cute as could be. They were in the kid's clothing department, which I've tried to avoid lately because it makes me depressed. Russell nudged me and said "that will be us in a few years!" with the cutest grin on his face. Made me tear up a little, because being a mom is very important to me. Although it's difficult to realize it won't be our natural child, I'm so thankful we are both 100% on board with adoption, and we slowing heading in that direction.

surgery and treatment...

2011-02-26T23:55:00.002-06:00

This week I had surgery to have my port put in, and I had my first two treatments. The surgery went fairly well. Instead of trying to start an IV like usual, they did it under ultra sound to begin with, knowing I'm a difficult stick. Once they got that started, they got me prepped for surgery. I have a 6-8 inch cut on my chest (below my shoulder really), and a 1/2 inch cut on my neck. When I came to, and still now, the one on my neck hurt so much worse than the other, which I think is odd. I guess it's just the location. I went from day surgery to the oncologist office for my first iron treatment. I was given a test dose of iron, and then the regular dose. About 20 minutes after I got home, I had hives all over me, and was wheezing when I was breathing. I took some benadryl, and tried to rest. It didn't do much for the hives, but helped the wheezing. Later that night the wheezing came back, so I took more benadryl. The next morning I called the oncologist, told them what happened (and what was continuing to happen), and they wanted me in immediatley. I went in, they gave me some new medicine (a steroid and benadryl type RX), and sent me on my way. I guess it's helped, a little, but not too much. The area around where the port was placed is still very red, like it's sunburned. Apparently I was pretty allergic to the iron I was given. When I went back on Friday for my treatment, my levels looked worse than they started out at, and my iron was changed. Before they gave me my treatment, they gave me some benadryl and a steroid through my port. So far, the worst side effect I've had from this treatment has been nausea and general blah feeling. I spent a good majority of the day laying on the couch, in and out of sleep. Hopefully the treatments will start working and be worth it all in the end.
In the middle of the week, between all of this, I went to see my neurologist. He extended my disability until April 4th. It's not what I wanted, since I was scheduled to go back March 1st, but it's what he and Russell think is best. We are at the beginning of getting things done, and they don't want to jeopardize that progress. I'm thankful for such a patient husband, persistent doctors, and an ever present God. I'm very blessed.

2011 so far...

2011-02-18T23:05:00.002-06:00

I can't believe we are halfway through February and I haven't updated because so much has happened this year. I was scheduled to return to work on January 3rd, but I ended up being admitted to the hospital that day instead. After spending three days in the hospital, and being home until that Friday, I tried to go back on the 10th. I ended up at the doctor that afternoon, and being put back on disability that day. I was referred to two headache specialist that day, but it was February until I could see them.
In the meantime, I had blood work done at my primary doctor, just to see how everything was looking. That blood work came back, and showed I needed I was very anemic, and needed blood infusions. I was given a phone number, and so I called that number, and they answered as an oncologist office. I just about freaked out. When I went in to see the oncologist office the first time, they did more blood work, and when I went in today, the blood work looked worse than it did originally. A few other levels looked bad, so those will need to be watched. Apparently I'll be having blood work weekly, and I'll see the doctor weekly as well. I'll have blood infusions twice a week, and they are doubled up. I should have 12 infusions, instead of 24 since they are doubled. Today should have been the first infusion, but they couldn't find a vein. Originally they were going to do a picc line, but that would have to stay in my arm for about 6-8 weeks, and would be most likely get infected. So, instead, I'll be getting a port put in my chest like people do when they have chemo, so they will always have access to a vein.
Now, on to the headache updates. I have two new doctors looking at my migraines. One is working on the cause of the migraines, and the other is treating the pain mostly. They are both very optimistic, which is great. However, the number of tests, treatments, and doctor appointments I have coming up is astounding. I should be returning to work the first week of March, but my doctors and Russell aren't sure they want that just yet. At this point, nothing has changed. We are getting the ball rolling, but I'm still having migraines almost daily, I'm still very weak and passing out, and overall having trouble daily. So, I'm not sure what will happen with work.
I resigned, effective the end of the year, back in January. I know that me being out is not best for my kids, the district, or myself. This was before I knew about the budget cuts and IISD trying to get rid of teachers. However, knowing all of that, I'm so thankful I made that decision. I've been told if I don't come back by a certain date they will terminate my contract, but then I was told they wouldn't since I resinged and it's the end of the year. Basically, I don't have FMLA, because I was so sick last year as well and didn't work enough to be covered by that. It's stressful. However, we are trusting in God, and he hasn't failed us yet. I know I'll feel better after the blood infusions. I know my new headache doctors will find something that works. I know I'll find a new job that I love as much as teaching. I know we will be ok.

2010 - year in review

2010-12-31T11:53:00.002-06:00

January - our Lousiana boys moved back to Lousiana, Jameson turned 2, and Penny was back in the hospital for what we were told was a "small" round of chemo.
February - had my gallbladder removed on the 1st, was told on the 6th that Penny was being put on life support due to pneumonia, gathered as a family on the 7th to speak with doctors about her chances at making it, gathered again as a family on the 10th to remove her from life support and she passed away, record snowfall on the 11-12, no school on the 12th, funeral on the 13. The rest of the month is just a blurr.
March- adjusting to life without Penny, and dealing with blackouts and migraines.
April- Lousiana boys came to visit the Saturday before Easter (just for the day), woke up Easter Sunday with the worst migraine ever. After multiple hospital and doctors visits, we found out it was vascultitis, and could be deadly. I was put on steroids, and stayed home from work most days. My kids prepared for TAKS without me, and I slowly spiraled into a deep depression.
May- MRIs, MRAs, CT scans, spinal taps, and more testing was done. First ride in an ambulance on Cinco De Mayo, after blacking out and not breathing for close to a minute at a time. I returned to work towards the end of May, but my class had been split, so I went to see my kids in other rooms.
June - The school year ended, but not the hospital and doctor visits. At the end of June I had another spinal tap, followed by a blood patch for a spinal headache, and spent my 28th birthday in the hospital. Our oldest nephew turned 8, hard to believe!
July-My birthday "party" at the horse races was ended early, when we left and were admitted into the hospital, just 2 days after my birthday. I spent Fourth Of July weekend at Baylor, and tried to, once again, get the same migraine under control. I felt better on our anniversary, the 9th, so we went back to the races, but they ended early due to the weather. The rest of July was spent resting, gearing up for my return to school.
August - Back to school was on my mind, and we had a few trainings. I got my classroom ready, and had a successful first day back. I loved teaching second grade, but my second day back was not as successful. Blackout in the hallway had me going home in the morning of the second day.
September-Not a good month, at all. Two car accidents in one week, I was placed on disability, and had two hospital stays. However, some new medicine was somewhat effective, so I guess that's positive! :) Maverick had emergency surgery for his bladder blockage, we have some expensive pets!
October- our youngest nephew turns 5, was told my original 4 weeks on disability was now 12 weeks, so I was determined to just be thankful for supportive co-workers, husband, and family. My pancreatitis came back, and that had me back in the hospital as well.
November-first Thanksgiving without Penny, her birthday, and Russell's birthday. Pretty rough month. Did the majority of my Christmas shopping in the middle of the night the moring after Thanksgiving, since I blacked out in Toys R Us at about 1:00 the morning after. My sweet husband turned 29, and I'm so thankful his loving parents raised him so well.
December- was told we couldn't have kids of our own, due to the blackouts, lupus, vascultitis, etc. That was pretty devestating. Returned to work on the 9th, and made it each day until the break, huge success!! Enjoyed lots of time with family and friends during Christmas festivities. Formally asked to be Kennie and Sarah's God-parents, and we were thrilled.

It wasn't an easy year, but I'm blessed I had Russell to hold my hand through the hard times, and laugh with me during the good times. My family never fails me, and we have true friends that are there for us in a heartbeat. And of course, we have a God that is ever present, even in the darkness, so we are never alone. We never went without, we never hit rock bottom, and we always knew the next day brought new beginnings. Hoping 2011 brings healthier days, more laughs, and fewer hopsital visits. :)

November Thankfuls....

2010-11-28T22:50:00.002-06:00

This year I'm so very thankful for lots of things. Here are just a few (in no particular order)...

-grandparents that love each other and have been married for 60 plus years. They paid my way through college and left me with no student loan debt. They are truly amazing people.

-a mom that loves me, no matter what, and is always there for me. Although we don't always see eye to eye, I know I can always depend on her.

-my dad - even though he left when I was little, he didn't completely abandon us. I think he does the best he can to show he cares about my brother and me, and I appreciate the effort.

-a job I love, teaching kids I love, around people I love. It doesn't get much better than that!

-a brother I admire, a sister-in-law I wouldn't trade for the world, and two precious nephews that are growing up way too fast. I can't wait to see what the future holds for those two boys, but I kind of wish I could rewind a few years and hold them as babies again!

-in-laws that I love. Russell's brothers are like my own, whether they like it or not. :) I'd do anything in the world for those two, and I pray they find a life partner that makes them happy. I love my father-in-law, and miss my mother-in-law like crazy.

-pets that cost too much, but give us lots of laughs and love!

-reliable transportation and extended car warranties! We've used the extended warranty many times this year, and I've been very thankful to have it.

-medical insurance. With my health, I don't know what we'd do without it.

-my Uncle David. He keeps to himself, but he is an amazing man of God. He's selfless, he adores our family, and he would do anything for anyone. I honestly feel very blessed to have him as MY uncle, and I hope someday we can give him a great niece or nephew.

-Kennie and Sarah. What would I do without these 2? I think we need them as much as they need us. They really are like family to us, and we just love watching them grow up and mature each day.

-my boys back in Louisiana. I miss them tons, and I can't wait to see them again sometime (hopefully soon!).

-my God-son, Jameson. He's such a sweetheart, and so funny. I don't see him nearly as often as I'd like since I've been off work, but I think about him all the time. Love this kid, so much!

-my best friend, Kasey. I honestly don't know what I'd do without her. Growing up together, experiencing life together, the good, the bad, and the ugly, I wouldn't pick a different person as a best friend. We don't always agree, but we always support each other. I'm lucky enough to have her teach two doors down from me, how lucky can one girl get? People think we are twins or sisters, and some days it's as if we share a brain. She makes my bad days good, and my good days great. I don't know what I would ever do without her. If she were to move half a world away, I'd be so lost. She's life my other half.

-my other best friend, Russell. I couldn't have picked a better husband. Found my diary the other day, and I've been signing my name "Blaire Reagan" since 1994, when I was 12. We really didn't get along through middle school and high school, and really not in the early years of college either. There were some really bad days, but God had a plan, and God stuck to His plan for us. I'm so thankful we finally gave it over to Him, we stopped being stubborn, and let things work out the way He wanted. Russell puts up with every bit of me. The sickness, the grouchy, the mood swings because of medicine, the missed days at work, the doctor appointments, the lost appetite, the gained weight, the depressed mood, the need to get out of the house, the tears for no reason, he puts up with it all. He cooks, he cleans, he does the laundry, takes out the trash, walks the dog, does the litter box, feeds the pets, takes care of the cars, and of course, takes care of me. I don't know why he does it, but I'm sure glad he does. :)

-all knowing and ever present God. 2010 hasn't been friendly, but God hasn't failed us. He's taken care of us, even when I haven't been able to work. When Penny died and I thought our world was caving in. When they can't pin point what's wrong with me, but they know I need to stay in the hospital and repeat the same tests I've had over and over again. God is always there. We hear it in songs. We see it in unexpected checks. We see it in cards or emails. We see it in snow, on the night Penny passed away. God is always there. He will still be here. Even when my world feels like it's going to slowly crumble, God isn't going anywhere.

I'm thankful for LOTS of other things, but these are the only ones I can think of right now...

long time coming...

2010-09-28T10:59:00.002-05:00

Things have been crazy around here the last few weeks. School started off with a bang. I adore my kids. They are just precious, and so incredibly sweet. Of course, I've had some complaints about people breathing on each other, dropping pencils and not knowing what to do about it, and tattling for people cutting in front of each other. I guess that's the typical second grade drama. However, I only made it a few weeks of school before being put on disability by my doctor. :(
I'm super bummed. We thought I suffered a stroke, because I had every symptom of one. Drooping of the left side of my mouth, slurring of speech, couldn't walk, weakness of my arm and leg on the left, memory loss, etc. After lots of tests, it was concluded that my complex migraines had once again shown up in a severe way with all the signs of a stroke. The only way for it to be treated is to treat the pain at the hospital. Last week I went to the ER 3 times, and was admitted for 2 days the 3rd time. They did a battery of tests, physical, speech, and occupational therapy. I now walk with a walker if I have to walk a decent distance. I can walk from the car into a restaruant, or from the couch to the restroom without feeling weakness, but not too far. I'm off for at least another two weeks, but it could be longer. I see my doctor this Friday, and still have to get in to see a specialist, so I think I may be off longer.
So, that was my health story of last week. On Saturday morning Russell woke up sick, and went to the clinic and got antibiotics. He never gets sick, so when he complains I know he's sick. When he got home, we noticed our cat was crying and being very clingy. We called the vet, and they said bring him in asap. So, we loaded the cat in his carrier and headed to the 24 hour vet hospital. Turns out, Maverick's bladder was about to rupture because it was blocked, and he could have died if we had not taken him in. The doctor told us he needed surgery right then and she walked out with him. We just stood there and looked at each other, wondering how much this was going to cost. They came in with an outrageous estimate, which involved Maverick staying in ICU for 4 days on a constant IV. They've done this before with Maggie, and we took her home that night and just watched her at home and she was fine. We ended up paying 1/3 of the cost (still a huge amount!), and brought him home the next night. He had surgery, a catheter, IV, two baths, pain meds, and lots of love while he was there. He's now on a special diet and refuses to take his medicine, so I get lots of scratches while I force him to take it. He's not a big fan of his new (more expensive) food. They also suggested we get him a water fountain, and she told us they usually run about $50.00, but we found one for about half the price, so we were happy. She said having fresh running water would help this not happen again. I'm just looking at it as an investment so we don't end up with crystals in his bladder ever again!!
Man, pets are expensive, but I guess so are my medical bills. Sometimes I wonder how Russell puts up with all of us! :)

always, sometimes, never

2010-09-25T15:43:00.003-05:00

I always....
-fall asleep on my left side first thing at night, even though I try other ways, the left side is how I end up falling asleep.
-start each day off with a diet coke.
-want a blanket on me if I'm in bed or on the couch, so we keep the house pretty cool/cold.
-cheer for the Dallas Cowboys, no matter who they are playing or if they are losing terribly.
-rub my feet together right before falling asleep.
-have trouble laughing and walking at the same time (strange, I know).
-look forward to fall because I love the cooler weather, football, chili for dinner, and the color changes!!

I sometimes....

-have my diet coke in the form of a fountain drink in the morning (that's how I prefer it)

-walk the dog, but usually let Russell do the honors

- only snooze for 30 minutes, but usually longer

- stay up past 9:30 on a school night, but not usually

- like to have pickles with my grilled cheese from Sonic (yum!)

I never...

-walk the dog alone at night

-clean for the fun of it

-remember to buy stamps at the store

-stay up late on a school night

-wear shoes around the house

-pass up the opportunity to record/watch a new murder mystery/cop documentary

new school year...

2010-08-31T20:44:00.002-05:00

It's been one week and two days and I'm exhausted. I have an amazing class, they are so sweet. We have lost a second grade teacher, so I got four of her kiddos. The entire losing a teacher situation is very sad, but I hope her kids adjust well. The other kids and I have a great bond. I look forward to a great year with them. So far, my kids enjoy telling me about their future plans to outer space (they just plan to call NASA and tell them they need to get on the spaceship, simple as that!), complaining that people are breathing on them, and they LOVE when I read them books. I've had one blackout episode, last Tuesday, and I was sent home. It was highly disappointing, but I'm just taking it a day at a time.
We were scheduled to go to Louisiana to see our boys this weekend, but we've cancelled the trip. We thought we wouldn't have a game this Saturday, since it's Labor Day weekend, but we do have a game. Russell didn't want to miss the game, and apparently there are storms headed to Louisiana, so we aren't going. I'm bummed we aren't seeing the boys, but I'm sure we will eventually. :)
That's the update for now. More to come soon, if I remember...

classroom photos...

2010-08-14T16:30:00.010-05:00

Today Russell and I went and worked in my classroom. It's not ready, but it's getting there. We (er, Russell) hung my alphabet, made my tree, and got lots of other stuff done. I have pictures, but they were taken with my phone. I can't find my camera cord, so these pictures aren't the best. I LOVE my alphabet. We had a hard time finding things for a few letters. For N we put an animal and an arrow to the nose. For V we used velcro, and a copy of one of my X-rays for the X.

All of the colorful paper on the bulletin board is for students to put their favorite completed assignment. Looks so colorful. :) I'm excited to meet kids on Thursday!!

back to school

2010-08-12T20:04:00.003-05:00

Ah, we are back to school. Today and tomorrow we have district training, next week we have training Wednesday-Friday, and meet your teacher on Thursday afternoon. Luckily, my room is pretty much ready to go. I made my own alphabet this year, like crafy! I'll have to post pictures when my room is complete. My wonderful brother-in-law, Cole, is coming to put a tree on the wall with clouds and a sun, for my reading area. That will be Saturday, I'm hoping to take Monday or Tuesday off before we are back for good. We were supposed to go to Louisiana this weekend, but that's been changed to Labor Day weekend. The boys are working with their praise team at church coming up with a special performance for the Sunday morning we are there. I'm not supposed to know, so I'll be sure to act surprised. :)
As I've been preparing for back to school, I've done lots of shopping. Not shopping for myself (not money for that :( ), but for my classroom. We desperately need pencils, crayons, folders, etc. I've come up with a ranking for places to buy supplies.

1. My favorite place has got to be Wal-mart. They always have great prices, like crayons and glue for a quarter, you can't beat that. The best part is, they don't put a LIMIT on how much you can buy like other places.
2. Target - they have some good deals, but some aren't so good. Markers for 3.00?? Um, no thanks, Wal-mart has them for 1.00. :) You really have to watch it at Target, but their stuff is super cute usually, very tempting.
3. Staples - they have PENNY sales, BUT, these only last Sunday - Wednesday of the week, and they limit how much you can get. They normally will up the limit for teachers, but it's never enough.
4. Office Depot - they had my binders on sale for a quarter this week (normally 3.00) and they allowed me to get 20 of them. The limit was 3, they wanted to only double the limit, but I begged and pleaded with them. The rest of their prices are pretty high and disappointing.
5. Office Max - I've been so bummed by Office Max this year. :( They wouldn't double their limit or anything this year for me. I guess that's ok, since their deals weren't too super.

Since I have an aquarium, I also do some shopping at PetsMart. Some of the goldfish I buy swim upside down, but when I think they are dead, I try to scoop them out, and they swim again. Very strange. This happened last year too, and my fourth graders grew used to it, but I'm not sure how the second graders will like it.

Football practice has started, and since the boys moved, we don't have a kid on the team really. Kennie is on the team, but his parents get him there. So, I thought our nights would be free, I was wrong. Russell is still going to practice...and wants me to join him. Doesn't he know it's HOT!! He also said he would run with the slow guys to encourage them, but maybe he hasn't because it's so hot. Hehe. So far this week the boys have practiced in just shorts and t-shirts, I think the pads would make them pass out. I can't believe Kennie will play for his middle school and the city, that's a ton of football.

Everyone is getting so old. :( Kennie is going into seventh grade, Sarah and our oldest nephew into third, and our youngest nephew into pre-k. They will all be going to college before I know it.

We had one of our hard milestones without Penny, my mother-in-law. August 10th was the six month anniversary of her passing, and it also would have been their 36th wedding anniversary that day. We all went to dinner with my father-in-law, Duane. It was nice being together, but I still catch myself thinking she's in the bathroom or something. It seems very empty without her. Her picture is ALL OVER their house, so going there isn't easy. I'm not sure when it will get easier, but I guess eventually it will. We still have our first Thanksgiving, Christmas, her birthday, Russell's birthday, and his youngest brother's birthday to get through for the first time without her. Thanksgiving and Christmas will be the toughest, for sure. We didn't spend last Thanksgiving with her, but Christmas Day last year was the last time I saw her as her "normal" self, so that will be hard.

Enough sappy, back to the Cowboy game.

I should have taken a picture...

2010-08-03T22:10:00.002-05:00

I'm back in my classroom, and I should have taken a picture of my classroom when I walked in! All of the desks were stacked in the middle, boxes everywhere, and BUGS!! EEEEKKK!! That was yesterday afternoon. When I walked in, the room was at a steamy 89 degrees. Nice. Luckily, it was down to a cool 78 by the time Russell came to help at 5:30. I went back today, got there earlier, and it was only 79 when I walked in, and I was able to keep it cool all day. Fabric is on the bulletin boards, borders up, furniture arranged, computers set up, boxes unpacked, cabinets sorted, greenery arranged, and lots of other stuff. Sadly, there is lots more to do, but I'm not going tomorrow. Nope, the doctor ordered me to swim more and drink more water, so I'm swimming tomorrow. : ) I figured two good days in my room earned me a day by the pool.
Next week we have training on Thursday and Friday, and then we are driving to Louisiana and back on Saturday to see our boys. Yep, LONG day, but well worth it to see the boys.
The next week we have 3 days of training, meet your teacher night, and then school starts the following Monday. It will be a great year, I'm sure of it! :)

hits you like a ton of bricks...

2010-07-31T23:09:00.002-05:00

Today I upgraded my phone to a new i-phone. Not the newest, but newer than the one I had. I had to manually transfer all of my contacts over for some reason. When I got to Russell's mom's name, it hit me like a ton of bricks. What do I do? Delete her numbers? Add them to my new phone? Deleting them makes the most sense, I mean, there's nobody there to answer, but that broke my heart to think about, so I added the numbers to my new phone. That's probably ridiculous, but I couldn't just delete them. She's still on the answering machine at home, and I want to record her voice for our future kids to hear. Makes me miss her, and makes it all rush back that she's really gone. I hope this gets easier with time, but we still have our first real holidays to go through without her, so I'm sure it will get worse before it gets better.

ch-ch-ch-changes....

2010-07-29T11:40:00.002-05:00

I taught 2nd grade for two years, moved up to 4th for three years, and I'm moving back to second this year. Hopefully it will be less stressful since there is no state testing at the end of the year. Not that the kids aren't expected to prove their learning, but it's less stressful. The school won't be judged based on how my kids perform. My kids always did very well, but it always took it's toll on me. So, I'm super excited about the change. Plus, my best friend teaches second at my school as well. We never thought we would be teaching together! We don't always see eye to eye, but we will be quite a duo in second grade.
After my cyst rupture, I was told to consult with my "female" doctor about new medicine. My neurologist said it would be ok for her to put me back on birth control to control the cyst since all of my levels have gone back down to normal. The spinal tap showed that everything was back under control, so he felt it would be ok to now look at controlling the cyst. The OBGYN informed me we are running out of options. My regular doctor and neurologist didn't want me on something with too much hormone (too much info? sorry!), so my OBGYN said we are running out of options. She said she doesn't see any problem with me getting pregnant at this point, but I see lots of problems. 1. my weight. 2. blacking out (although, that's gotten much better!) 3. my blood sugar goes crazy with any change. She said all of that could be monitored, but I think I'm just too scared and want things to be healthier before I try that. She did inform me that since I had brain vasculitis I would have to get a shot everyday when I'm pregnant. Ouch. So, maybe in the next year or so, we have things to work on in the mean time.
Other than that, not much has been going on. Kennie and Sarah had their national basketball tournament, and did very well. Kennie lost to the team that eventually won in their grade level, and Sarah's team won first place! We were proud of both of them. Now, I'm just resting up and looking forward to getting into my new classroom. I'm looking forward to a healthier year, with a great group of kids.

I should have updated...

2010-07-10T20:57:00.003-05:00

No blood clot, and I'm home as of Monday, and the best news of all - I haven't been back!!! They told us on Saturday there was no blood clot, but then they did an MRI on Sunday and they thought it showed something on the left side of my brain. I was told I was being sent back down for an MRI with contrast. So, back down to the MRI machine I went, but they didn't put any contrast in my IV, so I thought that was strange. I get settled back into my room, and a few minutes later they come in and say,"Mrs. Reagan, we need to take you down for a MRI with contrast." I told them I thought I was just down there for that, but apparently they did the wrong test, they did an MRA instead. Lovely, back to the MRI machine I go. Luckily I'm not one of those that freaks out over the MRI machine too much, but I wasn't too happy. It wasn't until Monday morning when they told me the second MRI came back normal, and it must have been an artifact on the first. Hm...ok. So, first I've been told probably a blood clot, but no. Then told probably a new spot on the brain, but no. At this point I was ready to go home, and my headache pain was down to about a 7-8, and the medicine wasn't working. In fact, I had an allergic reaction all over to the medicine they were giving me, after having it 4-5 times. I was fine the first few times, and then all of a sudden my arm was red and swollen, I started itching, and my throat was closing. What an adventure. The good news was I was able to still see fireworks on Saturday night from my room window. In fact, I was able to see the fireworks shows from several cities, so that was nice. Of course, Russell was up at my room from 8am-11pm each day. I didn't want him to have to spend the night. I didn't want to be there, I sure didn't want to force someone else to stay there. The yeller across the hall finally calmed down at night and I was able to sleep the last 2 nights I was there, but being home has been much better. Maggie and I spent most of the week resting up.
On Friday Russell and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. It's hard to believe it's been five years, but in other ways it seems like we've been together forever. He's so great to me, and I'm so thankful he married me. On Friday Kasey and I went to lunch and went for pedicures. That night Russell and I went back to the horse races in the rain and had a great time. We didn't win any money, but we did have a great time being together. Lots of laughs and teasing over who would be better at picking the winning horse. Apparently, neither one of us are good at that!!
On our way home we started talking about his mom, Penny. It's hard to believe she's gone, but we are so thankful she was there five years ago to celebrate our special day. She's buried in the dress she wore to our wedding, and she just glowed in that dress that day. We miss her terribly, and somedays I'm not sure how Russell is able to handle things so well. I'm afraid someday he will wake up and reality will hit him that she's really gone, but I guess if that happens it will be ok. It's just still unbelievable, and if I sit and think about it I can't help but cry. I feel like she is going to miss out on so much, but I guess not really. She's still with us, and I need to remember that.
Ok, enough for tonight. I'm home, I'm feeling a little better, we are happily celebrating five years, and we miss his mom. That's a good summary. :)

a new year, same old junk

2010-07-03T06:51:00.002-05:00

Wednesday was my birthday, I turned 28. I celebrated by have a spinal tap on Tuesday, laying on the couch all day Wednesday (you have to lay for 24-48 hours after a spinal tap), going back to the ER on Thursday and ended up having to have a blood patch. That's where they go back into your spinal column and put blood to stop the leak of spinal fluid because it causes a terrible headache, like horrible, blinding headache. I felt better for a little while, went home, and decided on Friday night I wanted to actually CELEBRATE my birthday. So, we planned to go to the horse races with my parents, BFF Kasey, her husband, and her sister. I bought the tickets online, and was super excited to do something fun. I woke up Friday feeling terrible. Worse than I did BEFORE the blood patch. I was sick to my stomach, couldn't keep food down, and the headache was back, but even more intense. I was determined to go to the horse races though, so we did. We got there, and I got a diet coke, which I couldn't keep down. Russell and I both won money on the first race, I got sick, we won money on the second race, I got sick, and then we left my party and headed back to the ER. Count that, the hospital THREE times on the week of my birthday. What a way to celebrate. This time we walk into the ER and I black out at the front door. As I come to, I'm surrounded by no less than a dozen doctors and nurses putting me on a backboard and placing a neck brace on my neck. Talk about panic, I had no clue what was going on. I was rushed into a room, vitals taken, and I had a nurse on each side trying to find a vein, they both failed. I'm a hard stick. Like crazy hard. They decided to call for a picc line, but were successful before the picc line people showed up, thankfully. They did some blood work, a chest X-RAY, and CT scan. They hooked me up to a caffeine drip and gave me some pain medicine. Next thing I know, I'm being told I'm being admitted. :( Sad days.
So, here I am. I didn't sleep a wink last night because people on this floor like to yell out in pain. It makes me sad for them, but I'd really like to sleep. They also think I have a blood clot in my lung, that's lovely. I guess we will investigate that more today, along with some other test. I'm honestly not sure what other test they could do that I haven't already had. Rumor has it I'm having another blood patch done. That sucker HURTS. It felt like that doctor was using his huge needle to sew buttons down my back. I thought for sure I'd have a ton of stitches, just judging by the pain, but nope, just several very bloody bandages that bled for an entire day. So, I'm interested to see what the day holds. I have the same doctor I had last time that did NOTHING for me, so it should be fun.
This incredibly sweet nurse just came in to take an itty bitty tube of blood, it took four sticks to get it. That makes about 18 this trip. Ouch. I need better veins if the hospital is going to be my second home.
Not going to spell check, it seems to mess up my cute signature when I do.

being in the hospital...

2010-04-11T05:16:00.002-05:00

Being in the hospital stinks. We came to the ER on Friday morning after a migraine since Sunday. I missed work on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. Talk about feeling like a complete loser there. I was totally out of it all week, but refused to miss on Wednesday and Thursday. We went to the doctor on Thursday, after five days of the migraine, and they gave me a shot for pain and nausea. The doctor also told us that if the pain wasn't gone the next day to head to the ER. So, by Friday morning when the pain was not only gone, but worse, to the ER we went. I just wanted some relief. They tried various pain meds, while sticking me a total of 8 times for an IV, and NOTHING worked. NOTHING. After a CT scan, some blood work, and me begging to just forget it and go home, the doctor told us I'd be admitted. I was very upset at that point. No meds were working, so I didn't see the point in actually staying here. Before leaving the ER, my IV blew, so they had to stick me again. They couldn't find a vien anywhere but my right breast, so in the IV went. Is that too much info? If so, sorry. It hurt so bad. The nurse didn't use gloves. Uh, that's against policy I'm thinking. Anyway, she brought me to my room, mentioned where my IV was located, and the nurses up here went crazy. Told me how dangerous that was, called the doctor, and then they decided I needed a picc line. I was even more upset at that point. I just planned to stay here ONE night, why did I need a picc line? Those things are for people staying for multiple nights or weeks. They finally convinced me, and the picc line is now in. They then said I needed to be tested for MRSA. When I told them I did have it, they all freaked all, put on some special gloves and gowns, and got all worried. I now have some sign on my door about being careful when you come in here and wearing isolation gear. The ER didn't seem to care about me having MRSA. I guess they have different standards. The pain meds continued not working until I had a complete break down yesterday afternoon. I felt like the doctor wasn't listening to me, so I had to go a little crazy on them and freak out. They finally did change my meds. The pain did go away (for the most part) and it's manageable now. The called in a new neurologist to talk with me, and he also thinks the blackouts are totally migraine related. If we can control the migraines, we can control the blackouts. He is upping my preventative medicine, and he is giving me a new "rescue" medication to take if I get a migraine. They originally scheduled an MRI and MRA for me. That was supposed to be yesterday, but they never showed up, so they are coming today. However, the neurologist said he didn't think I needed it since I've had them in the last year and a half. I'm hoping I don't have them. I'm afraid I'll be here until tomorrow if they do the test. If they don't, I hope to go home today.
Here are a few things I've noticed:
1. You can't get any sleep here at the hospital. They are constantly in and out of our room, which I understand. They are either cleaning my room, checking vital signs, getting blood, giving me meds, etc. It gets old.:(
2. The ER and the regular floors have different standards. I guess the ER is just trying to save lives. They left needles everywhere, didn't use gloves, weren't concerned about the MRSA, just stuff like that.
3. The food here isn't so good, I only eat the sides. I'll eat the carrots, roll, dessert, and stuff like that. I won't eat the meat though, it's questionable.
4. Everyone is pretty friendly and always asks if I need anything else. When I say I need to go home, they don't do anything about that.
5. How did people survive in the hospitals before laptops and phones with internet??
6. There is NOTHING to watch on TV in the middle of the night, unless you like commercials that are trying to get you to buy the latest mop, shoes, or shower head. I'm currently watching amazing animals on Animal Planet. Makes me miss my own pets.:(
7. I'm super thankful for my family and friends that have come to keep me company.

That's it for now. I'm not rereading or spell checking. I don't think it would help, the pain meds are kicking in! :)

it's finally March

2010-03-01T19:31:00.002-06:00

February was really rough. I had surgery, and I'm still recovering. My incisions are infected, and it hurts something bad.
Russell's mom passed away on February 10th. It was a really rough day, but something we were able to prepare for. Of course, nothing really prepares you for saying goodbye for the final time. We were surrounded by loved ones that day, and we were able to make the decision to take her off of life support as a family. Although it was the best decision, it was sad. It broke my heart to see Duane, my father-in-law, hold her hand and tell her she didn't have to fight anymore. She was able to breathe on her own for about an hour, but then she peacefully entered Heaven. There isn't a day that goes by when I don't have to remind myself it's real. She's really gone. We will never see her on Earth again. It's just unbelievable. It's really sad. But, it's our reality. It's been hard to move on. Russell spoke at the funeral, and so did his dad. They both did a great job, and were able to hold it together. She would be very proud. His dad told us a story about the last time Penny got out of bed in the hospital. It was so they could dance in the hospital room. Then, they played the song they danced to. Talk about making people cry. There were about 600 people there at the funeral, she sure was loved. Seeing his dad and his brothers, but knowing she isn't around is the hardest part. I guess getting used to our new reality is difficult. Luckily we all have eachother to get through this time. She would want us to all hang on to one another.
My kids take TAKS this Wednesday. I feel pretty good about it. I blacked out at school today and had to come home, so I'm a little worried that the stress of the day might get to me and it will happen again. I'm thinking that wouldn't be good in the middle of the test.
Oh, and I've been shopping with coupons and only buying things that I have a coupon for or that's on sale. We're saving lots of money, it's great! We are determined to get some credit cards paid off.
That's enough randomness for tonight...

stream of consciouness post

2010-02-08T16:05:00.002-06:00

This post may make no sense, and I'm ok with that. I will probably have lots of things spelled incorrectly, and I'm ok with that as well. This is for me really, not you, and I'm ok with that.
I had my gallbladder out last week. I was excited about it at first. I counted down the days, the hours, really. Now, it still hurts. I have to use a step ladder to get into bed. Our bed is high, but not THAT high. I'm just sore. The first food I was able to keep down was fried chicken. I shouldn't even know that because I should have never even tried fried chicken, but I did. Russell stopped at Chicken Express to get me some mashed potatoes and got himself some chicken. The chicken smelled so good, so I had to try it to see how it was. It was good, and worth it. I guess when applesauce, pudding, sherbert, and toast fail you, fried chicken will be there. I took off five days to recover and slept each day away. Those were five fast days. I didn't really miss school much, but maybe it was because I wasn't thinking clearly, medicine can do that to you sometimes. I'm back at school now, missing home, and missing getting lots of sleep. Even though I rested so much last week, I'm exhausted today and would fall asleep in an instant if I closed my eyes.
Russell's mom is very sick, like dying sick. This is something we should have expected, but really didn't. When her cancer came back, they thought they could kill it with one round of chemo, which became a hospital stay. That hospital stay turned into pneumonia, and now here we are. They told us she was on a ventilator, but yesterday they used the words "life support". I prefer the word ventilater much better. She's laying in a bed lifeless basically, living only because we have her plugged into the wall. Just a week ago we were chatting on the phone, knowing the luekemia was back, but never dreaming we would be here today. We aren't ready to say goodbye, and we selfishly want her to stay here with us. She spoke to me in my dream last night. Is that crazy? Really. Does that make me crazy? Maybe so, but it did comfort me. She told me that we would all be ok, and that it was ok to move on with our lives. I feel like God is preparing our hearts to say our earthly goodbyes to her, but it will be very difficult. I hope she knows how thankful I am that she raised such an amazing son. Russell has been so strong the past few days. It will be a rocky few weeks, but I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather have by my side.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?"

2009-12-06T20:22:00.003-06:00

There has been so much going on lately, but none of it has seemed blog worthy really.

I've had to ask myself "should I stay or should I go" lots lately. Here are a few examples.

1. My family went to Arkansas for Thanksgiving break. Originally Russell and I were going. Then I got pneumonia and really didn't think I would feel up to going by then. I was also concerned about the finances and having enough money. However, my amazing family made it possible for us to only have to pay for gas to go, and Kasey and Lee kept Maggie us. So, we had to ask if we should just stay here for the holidays or go up there. We decided to go. It was wonderful. I didn't ride a horse this year, and that was a good decision! : ) We had a great time playing games with the family, enjoying fabulous meals (courtesy of my amazing sister in law), and just spending time with everyone. The scenery is great up there, but the company is the best. I'm so glad we went.
2. I've been stressed about work. I haven't felt normal at work this year, and haven't felt very productive. However, after much thought and some conversations, I'm staying. :) With all my blackouts and being so sick, it's been a tough year. Not feeling good makes it difficult to get in the groove, and I think that was the problem. So, I'm staying for sure!
3. Our boys are going, we are staying. They are moving back to Louisiana after the holidays. I'm sad, but it's for the best. Although we've done alot in their lives, we are limited in how much we can do since they don't live with us. We really love those boys, and we'll miss them, but it will be nice to have a break.
4. I want to move out of this house, but it's not in good condition to sell. I want to go though. Our HOA takes care the foundation, and they need to get on that!
5. I want to go to the Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge, so bad!!! I WANT TO GO!!! Not sure what else to say about that.

That's it for now. : )

four years ago....

2009-07-09T13:55:00.004-05:00

Four years ago today I married my childhood sweetheart.I woke up knowing my dreams of being Russell's wife were finally going to become a reality.I had known Russell my entire life, literally, my ENTIRE life. We grew up together, and I think I had a crush on him since elementary school. Finally in 8th grade, we started "going out". What does that even mean in junior high?? We went to movies on the weekends and saw each other at church. I begged my parents to take me to his football or baseball games, and I was one proud girlfriend at his games! We broke up, got back together, broke up, got back together, and so on, all through high school. It was rocky! This even continued though college. Did we love each other? Yes, but we were so immature! While in college, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and Russell and I were on an "off" period. There was nobody else in the world I wanted to call than him, but I refused to call him (immature??). Luckily, he called me, I rushed home from school to be with my mom and Russell, and the rest is history. From that point on, we realized how precious life is, how much we love one another, and today we celebrate four years of marriage! :) He's the best!! I'm sure every wife says that, but he really is the best for me!
A few of the many reasons I adore my husband...

-He works incredibly hard! It doesn't matter if a client calls him at midnight or in the middle of dinner, he is willing to do whatever it takes to make the client happy. Although this often annoys me, I know this is a necessary evil, and this is what makes him so valuable at work!
-He entertains my crazy ideas. When I decided to take in De'von, Tron, and Ja'Vontray, Russell didn't even flinch. He went into the situation with an open heart and mind. He coaches sports for De'Von, and attends all the games. He gives them talks (lectures), helps them with homework, and is an amazing male role model for them.
-He makes me laugh, everyday! He does some ridiculous dances around the house that are so hilarious!! You would have to be very special to see one of these little jigs, so I consider myself on the top of his list. :) He also wakes me up every morning during the school year with little songs that he makes up. They usually have to do with that day of the week or something to do with that time of year. For example, when it was close to the end of the year, all of his songs had to do with it being close to summer, and they are always silly. It's the best way to wake up!
-He takes care of our pets like he wanted them first. I wanted Maggie, he didn't want a pet, so we compromised and got Maggie. :) Maggie adores Russell and is constantly with him when he's home, and he adores her. If you didn't know I was the one that wanted her, you would think she had been his dog for 10 years. Then I decided I wanted a kitten so I got Maverick, and he takes care of him as well. Maverick now curls up with Russell every night. They both curl up next to Russell at night, one on each side.
-Above everything else, he loves me and takes care of me. I know I can call him when I need him and he will drop everything to come to me. I know that when I'm sad or scared, he will comfort me. When I'm sick, he always takes excellent care of me. He shares my goals and dreams, and he works hard so that we can see those come to reality.

I feel truly blessed to be Mrs. Reagan, I wouldn't choose any other man for me!!

SUMMER!!!!

2009-06-04T16:09:00.001-05:00

DONE and DONE!!! School is out for summer!! TAKS scores are in, report cards sent home, room is mostly clean, and tomorrow is my last day in the building until August (as far as I know). My kids did very well on their TAKS tests. We had 100 % pass reading, 100 % writing, and 86 % in math. I'm very proud of them, they worked incredibly hard. Today I'm not sad, I'm highly relieved and looking forward to some rest next week. Next week, I'll be sad and I'll miss them. That's all for now.

Russell's mom...

2009-04-07T10:35:00.002-05:00

Russell's mom will re-enter the hospital tomorrow, Wednesday the 8th. This happens to be Russell's brother's, Cole's, birthday. (can there be that many possessives in one sentence??) This a tough time for the family. She starts VERY intense chemo on Thursday, and will have that chemo each day until the following Tuesday. On Wednesday of the next week she will get to "rest", and then the following Thursday (the 16th) she gets her bone marrow transplant!! Her donor is an unrelated male, he's 48, and he is international. That's all we know about him. We know he is giving his marrow on the 15th, and she will receive it on the 16th.
This is a very critical time for Penny. If her body does not take the marrow, she will not live. We are so thankful she has a donor, and so hopeful she will be back to herself in a few months! :) Join us in prayer...

randomness...

2009-03-21T19:38:00.002-05:00

1. I played a "charity poker" event last night. My BFF's husband emailed me some link about how this might not be legal; I think that's what it said at least. I came fourth in the tournament, Kasey came in third, and Russell came in sixth. Lee didn't play. It was fun, but Kasey should have won some money...wait..it was charity...hm...maybe I shouldn't call it a charity poker event. :) We did donate some money to charity prior to playing, maybe that's what I meant to say!

2. Spring break is almost over...BOO!!! I am not looking forward to going back to school, but I'm sure it will be fine once I'm back. The sooner we get back, the sooner summer will be here!!!!

3. I went to the ER this morning for some really bad stomach pain. I woke up with the pain, and it would not go away. Eventually, when I could barely walk, Russell and I decided it was time to go to the ER. The good news was the nurse got my IV started in the first stick!! This NEVER happens!! I got blood work done, some pain meds, anti-nausea meds, anti-spasm meds, and a sonogram done .The doctor is adamant that it's my gallbladder, but the sono didn't show gallstones. He thinks the gallbladder isn't functioning correctly, because of some details I told him. So...he gave me the name of a doctor to go see early next week. Yeah right, doc!! Just add that to the cardiologist I need to see, neurologist follow up, "female doctor", eye doctor follow up, need to check my blood sugar levels at my general doctor, and my mother in law thinks I need to see an internists. HAHA!! YEAH RIGHT!! I told Russell I should be a stay at home wife, and patient. Luckily the pain has been a little better thanks to the medicine concoction.

4. I've been conflicted about my boys lately. I feel called to help them, but their actions are pushing us away. It is very discouraging and makes me sad. :(

5. March madness is NOT going very well for me...just call me a loser!!

March Madness!!!

2009-03-19T11:43:00.001-05:00

March Madness is here!! To be honest, I was never a basketball fan prior to watching the kids play. Kennie and Sarah are amazing little players, and De'Von just plays because he enjoys it and likes to be part of a team. Last year Russell and I participated in the fantasy March Madness fun at his work. Basically you have to pick who you think will win all 63 games. I had no clue who to pick, and I knew all the guys that were participating were putting a ton of thought into it. So, I picked teams with an X, Z, V, W, Y, or Q in their name. I then picked Duke to go all the way to the end. This method took me pretty far to the end. Duke didn't go all the way to the end, but they did do pretty well. So, we are playing again this year. I took a different approach this year, but kind of the same thing. I knew all the males were going to put a ton of thought into it, so I just went with which name I liked best. This is what I do at the horse races, and that never turns out well for me, so I'm not too hopeful. I just don't want to finish last, girls can have an opinion in the March Madness fun too, even if it's an uneducated opinion! :)

SPRING BREAK!!

2009-03-17T12:43:00.000-05:00

Well, it's finally the long awaited Spring Break. I always look so forward to Spring Break, counting down the days until it arrives, and then when it's here,I dread its ending. I just want time to stand still so I can watch all the TV I want, rest all I want, and do whatever I want for as long as I want. Since the break has started, I have done NOTHING. I take that back, I did go to four basketball games on Saturday, but other than that, it has been resting for me. De'Von's team made it to the playoffs, and our first playoff game is next Thursday. Thankfully we don't have any practice this week, and no game this Saturday. I say thankfully, De'Von isn't so thankful. The boys are so bored at home, and I'm tempted to block their number so they will quit calling asking if we can go do something. Eventually, after I've had my peace and quiet, I'm sure we will get out and do something to make this spring break fun for them.

Speaking of the boys, the oldest got into trouble last week at school. :( Ugh, it's very, very frustrating for me. It's hard enough keeping him motivated and encouraged to do his best, and now I think it will be impossible. I don't think details are needed here. Let's just say I'm glad we were issued tickets in middle school for asking for a pencil without permission. Yes, an actual ticket!! With this being his second ticket, he will now have a criminal record. What do I tell the child now? Seriously??

I went to a new neurologist last Monday. We were much more impressed with her than we were the last guy. She is concerned about the cyst on my brain, she changed up my medicine, and she wants to get to the actual cause of my seizures. Unfortunately. my other two doctors did not fax over my records, so she was unable to see all of the testing I had already undergone. After speaking with her at length, my upped my two seizure medications, changed my migraine medicine, and said she may want to redo my EEG. The EEG is where I have to have sensors glued to my head for about 3 days, it's annoying. This will test the brain activity to see if I have any spikes that indicate seizures. The last one I had did indicate seizures, but she said she might want me to do another one. Before we left I asked her about working out. I explained that I feel I can easily do an hour on the elliptical, but I get dizzy. I'm not physically tired (I mean, I am tired, but not so tired I can't continue), but I feel like I might pass out. The room starts to spin, I get light headed, and more times than not, I "black out" or have a seizure when I get off. After we told her this, she said all of my seizures could be heart related. Something about my heart might not be getting enough blood and oxygen to my brain, or something...I don't remember. So, she suggested I see a cardiologist. We were all highly confused, but decided to go with it to rule it out.Well...this past weekend when Russell and I watched Grey's Anatomy, there was a girl in the ER for seizures. Turns out her seizures are caused by a heart condition!! WHAT?!?!?! Russell just looked at me and said "you better call that cardiologist this week!" So, I'll be hooked up to a heart monitor for a day or two checking how my heart goes I guess. So strange, so strange.

sick kids, strange pets, pineal gland....

2009-02-25T16:48:00.001-06:00

First of all, all three of my boys are sick...VERY sick. De'Von called this morning in tears, saying he felt terrible and didn't think he could go to school. De'Von has never missed school due to being ill, so I knew he didn't feel well. He stayed home, and the middle one stayed with him because he felt sick as well. I received a phone call from the nurse at the middle school this afternoon saying that the oldest one had a fever of 103.4 and I needed to come get him ASAP. I'm so worried about my boys. I took the oldest one home and checked on the other two. They were both in bed, covered up all the way past their heads, shivering, but sweating. I asked De'Von if he needed anything, and he just looked at me, started crying, and said "no ma'am". How pitiful is that? I'm hoping their mom will take good care of them, or they will be coming over here!!!
Now on to our strange pets. We have one very dramatic dog! If she isn't getting the attention she thinks she needs, usually from Russell, she starts acting like she will be sick. She makes this terrible grunting noise and gets all dramatic, it's so bizarre. When we give her a little love, she calms down and is just fine. Such a manipulative dog!! Now, on to our cat, Maverick. He hates artificial light, isn't that random? He has broken three lamps, three! If we turn a lamp on, he will go up to it and knock it over if he can, and if he can't, he will just swat at it. If we turn on an overhead light, he will go to the light switch and turn it off. He just stands on the closest table or chair and stretch to turn the switch off. Last night Russell turned on the overhead living room light, but Maverick was unable to turn that light off. Instead, he went to where Russell keeps the flashlight and he knocked the flashlight to the floor. Is that revenge or what? He doesn't seem to dislike all types of light, though, because he will lay in front of the window and sun bathe all day. So strange...
Last thing, my mom has done a little research about the cyst on my pineal gland. Apparently it does not affect only birds. I'm not sure what we are going to do, but I think we will get a second opinion about the MRI results.

Dr. update....

2009-02-24T18:14:00.003-06:00

I.don't.like.going.to.the.doctor!!!!!

Starting on Friday night, I had severe headaches, sezuires, and once again, lost my ability to speak. Russell paged the on call doctor with my neurologist office, and it happened to be my doctor that called back. Russell explained what was happening, and the doctor explained this is normal for my type of seizures (partial complex) and my migraines. So, he advised us to just wait it out. He said it could last any amount of time, so we had to just wait. My headaches persisted all weekend, and so did the seizures. I still can't talk normally, I sound like a robot. Luckily, I sound better each day, and the more I talk the better it sounds. I fell several times, and "zoned" out many more. The seizures and headaches are annoying, but the difficulty speaking are so frustrating!!! I sounded like a child just learning how to talk, which isn't good when I'm trying to TEACH!!! So, I decided it was time for us to go to the dr. to get my MRI results. Russell called and they said the first available appointment was April 7th. I was really upset, but Russell is so laid back, he didn't argue with the appointment person. So, I called my mom and she called for me. They got me in today, and my mom and Russell took me.

The doctor showed us the MRI, which showed three irregular things. Two of them I can't remember much about. The third is a cyst. At first he said not to worry about it, that this cyst only has an effect on birds. (UM...WHAT? BIRDS? BIRDS HAVE MRI'S DONE?) So, my mom asked more about it, then he said that it's actually still being researched. So, I'm not sure how I feel about that. He doesn't feel like that cyst is causing the seizures, so I don't know. We left with ZERO answers, ZERO!!! He just told us to come back when this happens again (the speech problem) and they will do a three day EEG (which I've had) and see what it shows. I've had the three day EEG done before, and it did show seizures. So, I feel like we are back at square one. Why go back and do the EEG again if it did show seizures? I have no freaking idea!! So, that's where we are. He even talked about taking me off the medicine, which is just unreal to me.

So, I guess we will just wait. I don't want this speech thing to happen again, so I'm not sure what to hope for. I do want answers, but I don't want to get answers at the cost of having this happen.

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T19:31:00.002-06:00

Today has been a great day! We had two basketball games, won once and lost once. The first game wasn't so great, and we lost. The good thing was that De'Von's teacher and another fifth grade teacher from his school came to see his game. I am very thankful they came to support him, and I know it means alot to him. This is the type of thing a kid like him needs from his teacher. We won our second game, so that was good.

We planned to go to a movie tonight at Movie Tavern, but I have a migraine, so we are enjoying a relaxing night at home. Luckily, this is what we enjoy more than anything, just an evening together at the house. Russell sent me two dozen roses to work on Thursday and got me a new pink and silver blackberry phone for Valentine's Day. I just ordered him his favorite brownies from his favorite bakery. He's not much of a Vday kind of guy, so I figured that was enough. The boys had to get stuff for their girlfriends this year. I have now realized how annoying I must have been to Russell as a teenage girl. Thank you, Lord, for still guiding his heart to love me enough to marry me. Teenagers, boys or girls, can be so crazy in love.

Some good....some not so good...

2009-02-07T00:05:00.003-06:00

I have the flu, it's not so good. Yesterday when Russell got home from work he checked my temperature, it was 102!! I really don't like feeling this way, but I think I'm getting better. I'm glad it happened at the end of the week, so I have the weekend to recover. I was out of work yesterday and today, NOT a good thing this close to TAKS, but I didn't have a choice.

Now on to the good news, a "perfect match" has been found for a bone marrow transplant for my mother-in-law, Penny!!! All we know about the match is that she is in her early twenties. She will be going through some physical tests over the next few weeks to make sure she is capable of going through the transplant. Hopefully by March we can start with the process. Having a match this soon is a huge blessing!! They are going to test one more person that is a possible match to have a backup just in case that is needed. We are incredibly thankful for this news.

Russell spoke with the nurse about my MRI this week. Apparently going to see the DR about what he saw on the test can wait, which is good news. I won't be taking off yet another day to go see a doctor. He did see something on the MRI, which does concern me, but it's not life threatening, so that gives me peace. When I went to see my regular doctor this week about the flu, I asked him about it, asked what the MRI could show that wouldn't be a big deal, but could cause seizures. He said his best guess would be a cyst. We will see if he's right or not.

Busy weekend!!

2009-02-01T19:15:00.019-06:00

We've had a busy weekend!! Let me start with an update on my mother-in-law, Penny. Her illness is very complex to me, so this is directly off of her caringbridge.org website blog.

"We had very good news at our appointment on Friday. My bone marrow biopsy taken the week before showed that I was still in remission (hooray!) and the blood work from Friday showed that my counts were good and holding. So the doctor said that I would not have to undergo follow-up chemotherapy at this time (hooray!!). The bone marrow process is moving along. Three of the first four candidates contacted were not available, but one of them was tested and we should know something next week. Two additional donor candidates have been contacted and one of those has agreed to be tested next week. According to the doctor it will take about four weeks from the match and approval to transplant.
If we can find a match quickly, I may not have to go through stop-gap chemo before the transplant. He told me to enjoy this period of grace because it won't last for long... and week one of the transplant will be chemotherapy (just hoping to avoid chemo in the interim). So we came away with the best we could have hoped for including a cute new celebratory hat for me ( an early Valentine gift from my loving husband) from the gift shop in the cancer center (just trying to do our part to keep the economy going).
We continue to thank you for your support and prayers as this journey continues. We have donors, doctors, nurses and many others to pray for as we go forward. I am so thankful to all of you and also the many professionals that I can't count them all. I can feel your prayers and know that the love and strength of God will get me through this.
Love and many thanks!
Penny"

This is all great news!! First of all, she had great news at the doctor, AND her spirits are up!!

Russell spoke with the nurse last week about my MRI results. She stated that the MRI did show "some things" that the doctor needed to see us about, but none was "immediately life threatening". What in the world does that mean? Does this mean it's really nothing at all, or something, just not super major. I left the nurse a message and asked if I needed to make an appointment prior to Spring Break. First of all, I really don't want to take more time off from my kids, but I also hope to get some information out of the nurse about what's going on. She never called back on Friday, so I'll give her another call tomorrow!!!

Now to our busy weekend. Saturday started out with a nail biter basketball game. We had terrible referees, so we weren't sure that we would be able to win. Honestly, the game wasn't called very fairly. We were able to win, 23-21, and the kids were so excited. We left the game and went to sweet Jameson's first birthday party. Kasey and Lee did a great job planning the party. Jameson is just so precious, we probably could have had the party in a cave and still had a great time watching him be so darn cute. De'Von and his oldest brother, Tron, joined us for the party. Jameson likes to follow them around, which is pretty cute to watch. Here are a few pictures from the party...

He likes looking at himself in the mirror. Who can blame him? He's just so darn cute!! :)

Today is our oldest boy, Tron's, birthday. Since today is the Superbowl, we decided we would celebrate last night instead of tonight. While we were at Jameson's birthday party yesterday, the boys were playing on the playground equipment, which included some small rock climbing walls. The boys were so excited about these 5 foot rock climbing walls, so I thought that rock climbing might be fun for his birthday. Last night we went to eat at Red Robin with all the boys, Kasey, Lee, and Jameson, and then off to rock climb. I was slightly unsure how the boys would do rock climbing, they tend to get bored a little easily. We got to the rock climbing place a little after seven, and were there until closing at 10. They are all so competitive and athletic, they had a blast the entire time!! It's something we will do something again for sure!! Here are a few pictures from our rock climbing night. I meant to get one of all three of them together, but then I forgot. Maybe I'll remember the group shot next time! :)

The middle one - Ja'Vontray - giving me a look while I lecture him about not giving up on the rock climbing. He wanted to come down off the wall, but I was telling him he couldn't.

Not a flattering picture, but proof that my nagging works!! He made it to the top of the wall and was able to ring the bell! :)

Tron taunting De'Von because he was beating him up the wall. These pictures are so blurry...sorry...I blame Russell! :)

His taunting only made De'Von more determined to beat him up the wall...De'Von eventually caught up and beat him to the top. We are very thankful that Tron is competitive, but gracious. He doesn't mind being beat by his younger brothers.

The look I was getting while I was telling De'Von he could not give up on the wall and was not allowed to quit. This is the same look I get during basketball games while getting onto him. I think he's probably saying "Please be quiet, you're embarrassing me" in his mind. :)

It paid off, he made it!

Russell had him wait up there so he could get a picture from farther back...

All in all, it was a great weekend, but we are pretty tired. I'm looking forward to next weekend so I can rest, and this hasn't even started. That's probably not a good sign!!

2009-01-26T15:21:00.000-06:00

A few quick things that have been going on...

1. My precious Godson, Jameson, turns 1 tomorrow!! I can't believe it's been an entire year since we were blessed with his arrival.

2. They have picked four "highly likely" matches for my mother-in-law. As far as we know "they" (whoever they are) are in the process of contacting them to see if they would like to be tested to see if they are a perfect match. It costs about $10,000 to test those four people, and insurance doesn't cover it. Some organization covers the first $10,000, so we are hoping one of the first four will be a perfect match!!! She has kept her spirits high, so we are trying to do the same.

3. I went through 3-4 days of not being able to talk at all, and then barely being able to talk. This all happened after a "routine" seizure. It was very frustrating. Ever since then I've had a terrible headache that won't go away and I'm having trouble staying awake. Russell called my neurologist about it, and they had me do an MRI last Friday. I was so nervous about the MRI because I've heard so many horror stories about them. It honestly wasn't bad AT ALL!! I think I even fell asleep in the middle of one of the tests. The only bad part was when it was over and the technician asked me if I was going in for any treatment that day. What is that supposed to mean? We are very anxious to find out the results of the test and see what's going on.

4. I lost another 2.4 pounds last week, for a total of 9.4. I'm afraid with how nervous I am about my MRI results, I may gain all 9.4 back this week!! EEK!!!

5. We are counting down the days to our first TAKS test. I'm fairly worried about some of my kids, mostly because when I'm at school, my head is pounding and killing me. I just don't feel like I can give them 100%. :( This makes me very sad. I'm sure they will all be fine, but I still worry. We have over a month left until the writing test, so we will be doing lots of hard work between now and then.

6. Basketball is going well. De'Von has come so far since last year and it's been so much fun watching him play!! I'll have pictures next time...

7. I am not rereading this or checking over it, just FYI....

That's it for now.

yet.another.update....

2009-01-15T19:59:00.002-06:00

Well, we heard from Russell's mom. Her brother is NOT a match, which is very disappointing. There is some good news, there are 28 people in the "bank" that DO match her. Now they (not sure who "they" are) have to call those people and see if they are willing to save the life of a complete stranger. Let's pray they are willing!!

Week 2 update....

2009-01-15T06:48:00.002-06:00

Well, here's the weight loss update for week two....

Confession - I haven't worked out in a few days....I mean....all week...since LAST THURSDAY!! AH!!!!

Confession - I totally splurged at Joe T. Garcia's, but I didn't have any adult beverages, which is good. :)

Good news - I somehow still lost 3.2 pounds this week. This is a total of 7 pounds since the first of the 2009, and a total of 25.2 pounds overall on WW. This is good news. I do plan to workout this week, but I am so glad I somehow didn't gain weight this week!!

2009-01-11T19:35:00.001-06:00

How do you like my new blog design? I am loving it! Jenny from Pink Armchair Designs did an amazing job. You should go check her out for a design of your own.

We had a wonderful Christmas, although it was different this year. We were so thankful to have Russell’s mom home with us this year. Although she tires easily, she was such a trooper during the festivities. We are stretched so thin during the holidays, this year we didn’t even get to see my dad while he was in town. I was so bummed, but he was only in town for a few days from California, and time just wasn’t in our favor.

New Year’s Eve was great! We did what we’ve done for the past several years and rang in the New Year with Kasey and Lee. We went to dinner and then back to their house for some games and drinks. Jameson stayed with his grandparents so we could have some adult time. Who knew games like Apples to Apples and Blokus could be so much fun? We are so incredibly blessed to have Kasey and Lee in our lives, they are such amazing friends.

On New Year’s Day I started working out, just randomly. It was like something hit me, and I got serious. So, I’ve worked out almost everyday since. I get up early and get it over with early in the morning, which makes me feel great and then I don’t think about it for the rest of the day. I told my students about it, so they are keeping me accountable. I’m taking my lunch each day, eating breakfast at home, and TRYING to be better about dinner. During week one I lost about 4 pounds. Not a huge loss, but I’ll take it. I rejoined Weight Watchers, which is so easy to follow, and I plan to follow through on it this time. Last time I joined was fall of 2007. Since then I’m down 22 pounds. I’m not sure how that happened, but I’ll take it.

We did receive some not so good news a few weeks ago. Penny, Russell’s mom, is currently in remission, but she will only be in remission while on chemo. So, if she takes chemo for the rest of her life, she will be fine. Of course, this is no way to live, and no doctor will allow this. So, they have suggested a bone marrow transplant. Her brother was tested to see if he would be a match, and we hope to get those results back this week. He will be the best candidate to find a match. If he isn’t a match, they will look in the donor bank. We are hoping and praying they will find her a match!!

Basketball season is officially here for us. De’Von has practice on Tuesday and Friday nights, much better than football season practices. He practices from 8-9, that’s the bummer part. I hate not getting done with practice until 9:00, it makes for some late nights. We had our first preseason game on Saturday and lost 36-30. Our team actually looked really good, they just need to work on a few things. De’Von is by far the smallest kid on the team, but he’s enjoying it. He’s come so far since last season, and we just love watching him play. Russell really seems to enjoy it! Before each practice Russell has De’Von do some drills he’s come up with, it’s funny. He will be a great daddy someday!!

Yesterday...

2008-12-17T07:53:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was an interesting day. Let me start by saying we have some great news!! My mother in law, Penny, is home until the 29th!! They weren't planning to send her home until Friday, but she was doing so well they sent her home YESTERDAY!!! WHAT GREAT NEWS!!! There are a ton of strings attached to make sure she will be healthy and safe, but I'm sure every rule will be followed strictly. We are very happy to have her home for Christmas. :)
I wrecked my car yesterday, ran into a pole. It was very sad. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I ended up backing into a pole at the house. I don't know if I hit slick spot or had a seizure, which is very scary and upsetting. The new doctor I'm going to isn't even sure I'm having seizures, so I'm still driving. It's all unsettling. The car doesn't look "too" bad. It will have to be fixed. As my mom says, I wasn't the only one in the area yesterday upset about a wrecked car. With the icy roads, I'm sure there were more people. When I first got to my car yesterday I had a flat tire, I should have known to stay home at that point!!
Only three more days of school until the break!!! I can't wait!!!

9 more days...

2008-12-08T15:13:00.003-06:00

There are only 9 more days of school until our winter break. We just got back from the Thanksgiving break, but I'm so looking forward to the winter break! I have so much shopping left to do before Christmas, so I guess I'll be doing that the few days before while I'm on the break. This year we have adopted kids from Townsell again. So far we have adopted 14, I think. Luckily, it's not just Russell and myself doing this. We get lots of help from family, friends, Kasey and Lee (they are included in the friends category, of course), and some strangers. We have been able to do lots for these kids this year. Most of their gifts have been purchased and wrapped. I'm done buying for my three boys, and their gifts are mostly wrapped as well. I have had a hard time keeping their gifts a secret. The only reason they don't already have them is because they were wrapped the day they were bought!

This year I am giving Russell tickets to go to the Dave Ramsey seminar when he comes to the Dallas area. I am so not looking forward to this, but he is, so I'm just pretending. I know it's good for our future, so I'll be excited by the time it gets here. I am also done shopping for sweet little Jameson, he was easy to buy for! My sister-in-law is done, I finished her early this year. As for everyone else, I'm at a complete loss!!

My mother-in-law, Penny, has been doing very well the last few days. She is back in isolation and her blood work seems to indicate that her blood cells are doing what they need to be doing. We are hoping and praying she will be home in time for Christmas. Her scheduled release date is the 19th, so it looks like things will be okay. She should have another bone marrow biopsy soon, and that should tell us more. Russell is off all week this week (I am so jealous!), so he plans on going up there to see her quite a bit.

We finally finished the entire football season on Saturday with the pro-bowl game. I should have taken pictures, but I was doing good to get us all there on time, I forgot the camera. Both boys played well (De'Von and Ja'Vontray were on the same pro-bowl team), but their team lost miserably. They had to play against a team that was comprised of the two teams that played each other in the championship. That's not fair if you ask me. I think the boys had fun, but we are all relieved to have a break. Basketball season is scheduled to start in January, which seems like it's far off, but it will be here before we know it. I'm thankful that basketball is an indoor sport, football was starting to get a little chilly. Of course, when summer track starts, I'll be wishing for the chilly football weather!!!

My elf name!

2008-12-08T07:49:00.001-06:00

Your Elf Name Is: Pixie Stocking Stuffer

Son of a nutcracker!

What's" Your Elf Name?

YIPPEE!!!

2008-11-29T09:14:00.002-06:00

I L-O-V-E my new blog header. Thanks Jenny, from Pink Armchair Designs, for such a cute header. I've already been dropping little hints to Russell about getting me a layout package for Christmas. We will see if he listens. :)

We had a great Thanksgiving, although it was a little different. My dad is in California, my step mom is in Arkansas with my brother and his family, and my uncle in in Arkansas as well. My mom, step dad, and grandparents were here, so we stopped by to see them briefly, but we didn't eat with them. We were blessed to have Kasey's family invite us (along with Russell's brothers) to come enjoy Thanksgiving with them. It was nice to have his brothers with us, since we couldn't really get his side of the family together. His mom and dad had Thanksgiving together in the isolation room of the hospital. Penny, Russell's mom, is doing pretty well. She's on alot of pain medicine, so she's pretty out of it. In a few weeks they will do another bone marrow biopsy to make sure her bone marrow is making blood cells without leukemia, that's our next big hurdle. We are hoping she can be home before Christmas, Thanksgiving without her wasn't the same.

Today is Russell's birthday, he's 27!! Unfortunately, he's on call for his birthday, and that all started yesterday. We were all ready to go shopping on Black Friday, not too early - at about 8:00ish, and his pager went off. So, he went home to check it. Apparently the CEO of some big company got a virus on his computer. Russell spent all day yesterday fixing that, and he kept saying it could take all weekend. Luckily he got it fixed before the end of the night, and he was able to get some rest, but he missed out on all of the shopping. After braving a few stores on my own (and spending WAY too much money), I called Kasey and Lee to join me, they are the best! I wish we could go eat or something to celebrate Russell's birthday, but he doesn't like to do anything, knowing he could have to leave at anytime with the buzzing of the pager.

I'm so glad that 27 years ago my hubby made his grand entrance into the world. He was a handful as a child, throwing liver across the grocery store, stepping in buckets of paint, etc. He didn't sleep through the night until his younger brother (born 3 years later) was brought home from the hospital. He thought there was a left and right sock, and would throw a fit if his parents put his socks on the wrong feet. One morning, on the way into the church, he asked his mother what "hell" meant. She started to explain the difference between heaven and hell, shocked her four year old was wanting to know what hell was. After going into a diligent explanation of heaven and hell, Russell asked what "copter" meant. She was so confused, so Russell said "well, if that's what hell means, what does copter mean." He just wanted to know about a helicopter. Oh, my husband. He's so determined, patient, and understanding. I sure feel blessed to be married to him, and knowing him for my whole life! :)

YEAH!!!

2008-11-26T15:04:00.003-06:00

We just got a call from Russell's dad, Duane, saying his mother is in remission. After a week of chemo 24/7, a week of really high fever (up to 104.4), being moved to ICU, not being able to breath, or move on her own, we are so happy to know that she is on the road to recovery. It's been a REALLY long week. She is still FAR from being back to herself, but we are glad she's going to make it. We were afraid after her bone marrow biopsy they would tell us that she wasn't in remission, and then they would have to start the chemo again. We were then told she might not live through that, because she is already so weak. We have lots to be thankful for!!

Arkansas pictures...

2008-11-18T08:55:00.015-06:00

These are a few of the things I will miss from Arkansas.

This is the cabin we stay in...it's HUGE and gorgeous! I think 60 people can stay in it, but we usually only take about 10-15 people. My entire family goes - my grandparents, uncle, brother and his family, sister-in-laws family, my mom and stepdad, AND my dad and stepmom. That last part is crazy huh?? While we are in Arkansas everyone likes to curl up and read a good book. If you can't find someone, they are probably snuggled by the fire reading. Young and old will read in Arkansas. I think I'll make Russell start a fire in our fire place next week so I can pretend.

If you can't find me on the front porch of the cabin, I'm usually out on the four wheeler. The area around the cabin is HUGE! This place usually takes in thousands of kids for summer camp each year, so they have a ton of land. I love to just get on the four wheeler and go.

This is our Arkansas buffolo friend, Bufford. I always take a picture of him for my kids, so they can see that he is always doing the same thing while we are there, just laying around. What a life!

I'll miss fishing with grandpa. :( He isn't going this year either, but I'll still miss it. I don't think any of us has caught anything up there. I usually just go and watch everyone fish, and throw rocks in the water, maybe that's why we can't catch anything...
We will miss out on some game time!! Not only do we play lots of football in the cabin, there is always a game of cards, Candy Land, dominoes, or something else going on in the house. (Carson promises to wear more clothes this year!)

I'll miss this cute boys!! It's amazing how much they've grown in just one year. :(

I'll miss coming back all relaxed and rejuvinated. This was the day we left last year. Although I had taken a hard fall off of a horse on the side of a mountain the day before, I was still pretty rejuvinated, and sore!

I know staying home from Arkansas is the best choice, but I'll be envious while they are gone!!

This is one thing I won't miss----THE HORSES!! Sure, they look nice, but it's painful when you fall off. :(

This is where we stay http://www.shepherdoftheozarks.com/

Feeling winded....

2008-11-18T08:23:00.002-06:00

I am starting to feel a little emotionally and physically winded, if that makes sense. With all that is going on, I'm just so exhausted, and I'm having a hard time keeping up.
Russell's mom, Penny, was diagnosed with an acute leukemia (the bad kind) on the 6th. She went into the hospital last Friday where she will spend the next five weeks. The first seven days in the hospital she will be taking chemo 24 hours a day, nonstop. The next four weeks are to monitor her, to make sure her body starts to build back up an immune system. The chemo she is taking is very strong. On top of preparing to go into the hospital last week, she had to have a small surgery. This would typically be no big deal, but they couldn't stitch it normally, so it's still an open wound. She is still in a lot of pain from that, and very uncomfortable in the hospital. She is in isolation, to try and keep her away from as many germs as possible. Her husband, sons, myself, and her best friend are allowed to go see her. We have to wear a mask, gown, gloves, etc to go see her. She has been running a fever of 103 degrees since Friday, which is scary. In the end, we have been told this is the worst kind of cancer for her to have, but after all of this is done, she will have a 90 % chance of going into remission. That, of course, was the best news we could get. After these five weeks are up, she will get to go home for three weeks, and then back to the hospital for five days. That will happen two more times - three weeks home, hospital for a week. After this cycle is over, we are hopeful she will be okay. She is very strong, so it has been difficult to see her in this condition. We are looking forward to her homecoming right before Christmas, and hopeful that she will feel up to celebrating on Christmas day.
In other news, I am going to a new neurologist on the 24th. My seizures are still occurring, so Russell feels a new doctor is necessary. I'm sure he's right, but I am very hesitant. I think a new doctor will make me stop driving for at least six months. Been there, done that, not wanting to do it again! I am hoping he will have some answers for me, that don't involve restricting my freedom!
My kids are taking a test right now, ahhh...silence. If I could, I would just go over to my big rocking chair just a few feet away and fall asleep...but they might notice. Next week is Thanksgiving break. Half of my family will be here, and the other half will be relaxing in Arkansas. Russell and I have been so torn about where we should be. We want so badly to go to Arkansas, where it's chilly, the leaves are changing colors, and we can enjoy the big cabin. But, with his mom sick, and my grandmother in bad health, we know we need to be here. So, this is where we will be. I guess I'll just look at pictures from Arkansas last year instead. I keep trying to remind myself that Arkansas is evil, it's where I fell off the horse last year when I had a seizure and thought my arm was severely broken. But, it's really not evil, it's great...I'll post some pictures from last year...

a day we will never forget...

2008-11-04T23:12:00.005-06:00

This is a day we will not soon forget. Not because we have a new president, but because today we found out that Russell's mother has leukemia. We are not sure what kind yet, but we do know that she does have cancer. We knew this was a possibility, but we weren't expecting the news today. We will find out on Thursday if she has acute or chronic leukemia. We are hoping for chronic, which has a longer life expectancy. If it is acute, we have been told that the outlook is somewhat grim. She is in the hospital for right now having a blood transfusion because her blood work looked so bad. She will be going home tonight as soon as the transfusion is done so she can get some rest. We don't know what the next few days, weeks, months, and hopefully years will hold, but we are hoping that it will be easier as it goes along.

Tonight, while we were up at the hospital with Penny (my mother in law), Duane (my father in law), decided that her hospital room was a little too hot and stuffy. He thought he would turn the air on and tried to adjust the thermostat. He went to push random buttons, and ended up pushing the "code blue" alarm. All of a sudden, we hear an alert go out through the hospital that said "CODE BLUE, ROOM 535, CODE BLUE!!!" It went on and on. Nurses and doctors came running from every hallway and room. Apparently he pushed the button that indicates someone is having a heart attack. It was funny, after all the doctors and nurses were gone. It was actually good to see everyone laugh on such a sad day. After all of the drama was over, we did get the air turned down, thank goodness!!

Keep us in your prayers, we need it now more than ever.

Fall update...

2008-11-01T23:57:00.005-05:00

Time seems to be flying by. Russell is currently watching Texas get beat by Tech. I know that the outcome of this game will not be what Russell wants, but I'm attempting to keep my mouth shut so I don't ruin the game for him. In order to not spill the beans, I thought I would blog. :)

Things have been fairly hectic, but good, around our house. I am still having my seizures, which is not exactly the good part. I need to get to another doctor sometime soon, but that's where the "things have been fairly hectic" part comes in. I have an amazing group of kids this year in my class. It's amazing how different each group of kids are each year. Last year my kids were very socially mature, and this year they are all very intelligent and sweet. I love each class, and I'm glad they are all so different.

Football season is coming to an end. De'Von's team is in the playoffs. This is the team that Russell helps coach. We are so glad they made it to the playoffs - we weren't sure they would because they had a hard time getting their first win. Once they started playing as a team, things started moving easier. Our first playoff game is next week. Football has been really good for him. He has been a leader on the field and tries to stay positive for every game. We are very proud of him! Now, De'Von at school is a different story!! He was on transfer at my school so that things would be easier on me (he stays with me after school for homework and stuff, and it's just easier to have him there during the day in case something happens). He technically lives closer to my school, but is in a different schools area. Anyway, he kept getting into trouble (being sent to the office for chewing gum, things like that...), and his transfer was revoked. I was really upset for a few days. My seizures have gotten worse since then, but I think the change in schools has been good for him. His new teacher is a male, and he comes home everyday with an abundance of new knowledge. He seems to really enjoy going to school, and he seems to be learning without really even trying. He's like a little sponge, which is how it should be! We are hoping his next report card will be better than the last!

The older two boys had great first six weeks report cards. To celebrate, we went to the Dallas World Aquarium on Columbus Day. Who knew the aquarium could be so much fun? We got there fairly early, and could have stayed all day, but I was kind of ready to go. I don't think the boys expected an aquarium to be as much fun as it was. Tron, the oldest, had to write a paper for school about a day he would never forget, and he had a hard time picking between going to the aquarium and going to the AirHogs game. I thought that was sweet.

I feel very blessed to have these boys in my life. I lived a very long time trying to make my family happy, living my life the way they thought I should, ignoring what I felt called to do. Now that I've decided I'm going to do what I feel I've been called to do (help with these boys, teach at my school, etc) I'm so much happier. My family really doesn't agree (they do for the most part, but some important people don't), but I'm learning that living the life God intended is much more fulfilling than living the life that my family intended. As much as these boys think they need us in their life, we need them just as much.

Here are some pictures from the day at the aquarium...

De'Von, Tron, Ja'Vontray (youngest, oldest, middle) in front of the sharks

J, Tron, and De'Von in front of the leopard (seems random for the aquarium to me...)

new layout!!!!!

2008-10-02T14:05:00.002-05:00

I am in DESPERATE need of a new layout. Luckily Jenny from Pink Armchair Designs is having a design giveaway. I would love to win one of her fall designs. If YOU want a design you should check out her site. Her prices are very reasonable and she is SO incredibly creative. I wish I had an ounce of her skill.

www.pinkarmchairdesigns.com

"parenting" teenagers

2008-09-14T12:52:00.004-05:00

We have been VERY busy lately. We finished up the summer by going to nationals for summer basketball. De'Von didn't play much basketball this summer, but he had a ton of fun and enjoyed being a part of a team. We put him on the summer team so he could have something positive to work for, and it worked. It cost us a fortune, we didn't get to have a summer vacation, but it was well worth it. De'Von, and his older brothers, have all changed so much. More on that later...
School has started back. I should take pictures of my room and post those on here...so next year I can remember how I want it to look. I only have 16 kids, right now. I have a really sweet class, so I have high hopes for this year. They are very different from my class last year. My kids last year could really read my moods, they knew how to make me laugh, and we were able to have alot of fun, as well as learn. But, the kids last year also drove me a little crazy and gave me lots of headaches. The kids this year aren't as goofy, they are just sweet and quiet, for the most part. It should be a good year.
De'Von is now playing football and Russell is an assistant coach. Both are having a ton of fun. De'Von is having trouble getting back into the swing of things at school. He just struggles with focusing and paying attention. He knows we have high expectations for his academic growth, but he is having a hard time meeting those expectations. This is where I am struggling. I know he can do better, but I don't know how to make him do better. I thought football would be enough encouragement, and at times, it is. He currently has several grades to bring up before report cards (3 weeks), so we will see. He seems confident that he can do it, so we are trying to be supportive. The older two brothers, both in middle school, are doing really well this year. They are keeping their grades up (both have one grade to get up by report cards, BIG improvement over last year), and their attitudes are much better. Every night we spend HOURS getting homework done. This has made a big difference for the boys. They have never had anyone sit down with them and go over homework with them, but I do that every night. Of course, most nights I just want to go home, but I know it's important for them. We have football practice 2-3 nights a week, so I don't get home until at least 10:00 on those nights after practice and homework is done and all the boys are fed. On Wednesdays I tutor at the Big Dogs office (Big Dogs is the organization we play sports for, they have a tutoring program as well), then I help my boys with homework, so I don't get home until really late that night as well. So, it's been challenging and an adjustment. I'm used to getting home by 6-7 each night, having dinner with Russell, and going to bed early, but not this year. But, I know it's worth it since they are all doing better, for the most part. We have high hopes for these boys.
I never knew what a challenge it would be as a "mother" and coaches wife for a youth football team. Some of the other parents are incredibly negative, so that's also been difficult for me. At our game last night, some of the mothers were complaining about the coaching, so I had to just get up and move to the other end of the field and sit by myself. Some moms just want the boys to win, and I just don't think it's all about winning. We just want him to go out there, do his best, and have fun. So, it's hard when I hear things being yelled on the field like "IF YOU DON'T WIN THIS GAME, YOU ARE NEVER PLAYING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!" The boys hear those things and get so bummed and then quit trying. It's very disappointing to see grown women acting like that.
Although I'm not their mother, some days I feel like I am. I get all the phone calls and emails from teachers and counselors. I get online to check their grades daily. I make sure they have what they need for school and have their homework done. I make sure they have had dinner and don't need lunch money or want extra money for snacks. We gave them their talk about making good choices with girls and having positive friends. We make sure they make it to practice with all of their needed equipment, and if they lose a game, we help make it okay. We know their hopes and dreams for their future and talk to them daily about how to get to that goal. I know there is so much more to parenting, and I really admire all the parents out there. But since we can't have kids of our own, this is our little piece of parenting, and we wouldn't trade it.

update

2008-07-13T23:53:00.011-05:00

Lots has happened since my last post. Our trip to Austin for the basketball tournament was cancelled, which was such a bummer. Our team has done so well this summer, but we are looking forward to the practices and tournaments to be over. We have a tournament this weekend and then nationals the next week/weekend. After that basketball will be over and football will start. We will put De'Von (the kid that was in my class last year that we have in basketball this summer) in football for the fall. He should be really good at football, and he is so excited to play. He will only get to play if he keeps his grades up and behaves. So, this will be a big test for him, and for us. It won't be easy to tell him he can't play, but it's the deal we have made.

Summer school has ended, I turned 26, and Russell and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. I must say, I love being married. Russell ended up working later than expected the night of our anniversary, and I tried to not let that make me too unhappy. Sometimes I get unrealistic and expect the impossible. There wasn't anything he could do about it. Once he got there, I forgot all about him being late, and remembered the joy I felt the day I married him. We went out to eat with Kasey and Lee and had a great time celebrating. We are really going to celebrate our anniversary on the 19th when we go see Jerry Seinfeld in Dallas. That was part of my gift to Russell. He loves Jerry's comedy, so I thought that would be great fun. He's pretty excited. Russell got me a new iPod and lots of iTunes money to load up my new toy. On Friday morning I went and stood in line to get Russell the last part of his gift, the new iPhone. He has been talking about wanting this phone since they talked about coming out with the second one. It's been on his outlook calendar and he's been doing research. When I told him I would go get it for him, he got so excited. So, I got up super early, waited in the forever long line, and hoped they would have enough by the time I got in there. Luckily, after a few hours in line, I got him a phone. He was like a kid in a candy store when he got his hands on it. So, he has been playing with his new phone all weekend and I've been playing with my new iPod. We are such nerds. Luckily we are nerds in love.

The other adventure I've started on is trying to get over the abuse I went through as a kid. I was abused (in all ways imaginable) by a man that lived with us when I was in elementary school. I don't talk about it much (unless you happen to be my best friend or husband), but it's something I deal with daily. It's caused a ton of depression, anxiety, anger, and other negative feelings for my entire life. I didn't start talking about it until my senior year of high school, and I've never really dealt with it. Since it affects my marriage and my life in general on a daily basis, I decided it was best to deal with it and stop letting it control my life. We have tried counseling, but I always find an excuse or reason not to go. I just don't feel comfortable with it. So, I ordered a Beth Moore CD series about healing from childhood abuse. She is a victim of childhood abuse herself, so it all really hits home. So far it's been great and I feel much better already. I've had to have a few very difficult conversations with my mother, but hopefully it will help us both heal. I am confident I am on the road to recovery!!

Tonight we took our boys (De'Von and his two brother's) to the Air Hogs game. The Air Hogs are a new minor league baseball team in Grand Prairie. We had a great time. The field was really nice, the tickets were cheap, the seats were great, and we all had a good time. Russell took some pictures while we were there, but for some reason he only got one picture with the boys in it. It only has the top of their heads. I'll try to get a better picture of them next time...

This is them checking out the field from the outfield area. There is even a swimming pool at this place!! You can swim out in center field during the game! How crazy is that??

Finally, here are some pictures of Maggie and Maverick. These aren't the best pictures, just new. They are from Russell's new phone, and they won't stay still, but I just wanted to add them anyway.

Maggie sitting on the couch, ready to jump off and pounce Maverick...

Maverick sitting on his side table. Yes, his side table, he's claimed it as his own. It's blurry because he never sits still for longer than two seconds. He's pretty crazy.

4 years ago...

2008-06-20T12:19:00.003-05:00

Four years ago today Russell asked me to be his wife. :) It was a Sunday, actually, it was Father's Day. I've always felt a little guilty about getting engaged and taking all the glory on Father's Day, but I don't think my dad cared. When I reminded Russell this morning that it was the anniversary of our engagement, he said it was the best decision he ever made and I think I'd have to agree! :) It was not a romantic engagement, although it could have been if I would have been patient. I knew he had the ring, because I demanded I go with him to pick the ring out. Since we had been together so long I was getting a little anxious. He knew I wouldn't wait, so he just popped the question in a very non romantic way. However, the words he said will always be very special to me. I'm very thankful he picked me. :)
We have a basketball tournament this weekend in the Dallas area, and we are traveling to Austin next weekend for another tournament. Kasey, Lee, and Jameson will be going to Austin with us for the out of town tournament, I'm so excited!! My birthday is the Monday after we get back from the Austin tournament, so I think we will celebrate while we are down there. I guess when you have kids you start planning your birthday celebrations and family vacations around their sporting events, huh? Oh well, we will have a great time!!

quick update...

2008-06-15T22:37:00.002-05:00

School is out for summer. I had planned on doing NOTHING (with the exception of basketball practices and tournaments). When I say NOTHING I just mean I planned on sleeping late, spending time with Kasey and Jameson, and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, but it's amazing how plans change...
- Last week I helped run the summer spectacular (fancy way to say vacation Bible school) for Irving Bible Church. We don't go to church there, but they asked me to help out because lots of the kids from our school were expected to attend. They do it at the middle school right next to my school, so it draws a pretty big crowd from my campus. They had a great turn out, and I had lots of fun. I think we will be visiting that church very soon...
- Just when I thought my official summer commitments were over, I was asked to teach the last 3 weeks of summer school. Summer school runs for 4 weeks, and apparently someone can't do it for 3 of those 4 weeks, so I am. I wasn't thrilled about the idea at first, but I'm looking forward to the extra cash at the end because I know I'll be able to put it to good use. Since summer school only runs until noon, I figure I shouldn't complain...
- We got a kitten 3 weeks ago. He's now about 12 weeks old and his name is Maverick. At first his name was Max, because I thought that went cute with Maggie, but Max just didn't fit him well. Maverick and Maggie get along very well. The first few days were quite and adjustment for everyone, but now they love to play and take afternoon naps together. I'll try to get some pictures of them sometime soon.
- My mysterious "spot" is still there and the medicine hasn't helped. In fact, while on the medicine I've gotten another spot. So, I'm not really sure what to think about that.
- I cried on the last day of school and I really miss my kids. As much as they drive me crazy some days, they really mean so much to me. Towards the end of the year I started to feel a tug at my heart to possibly change my career, not a total change, just a slight tweak. What I love most about my job is getting to know my kids and working on a one on one basis with them. I love that they feel comfortable coming to me when they are mad, sad, scared, abused, proud, happy, and every other emotion. I don't love teaching. I don't dislike teaching, just don't love it. I just see teaching as my way to be there for my kids. If that makes any sense...Anyway, I have felt a slight tug to possibly go back to school and get my masters to become a school counselor. The crazy thing is that a few days after I had this sudden thought, the school counselor at my school told me she was thinking I should do the same thing. She told me this before I told her about how I was feeling. Very strange, very scary, but very exciting. It will be a year, at least, before I make the decision to go back to school. So, we will see where that leads.

thankful...

2008-05-14T17:14:00.002-05:00

Although my blog is titled the "queen of drama", I wish I wasn't one. My family has always labeled me that, it's annoying. I'm trying to look for reasons to be thankful each day, instead of always focusing on the negative. So, here are some reasons I'm very thankful today...

1. I'm thankful that we had a very successful field trip today. My kids behaved very well, and it went really smoothly overall. We went to the Cowgirl Museum in Ft. Worth, a stop you must make!

2. I'm thankful that my sweet husband took a day off of work to join my kids on the field trip! He didn't even know where we were going when he asked off at work, he just did it because he knew I needed him to. He was so good with the kids! I put him in charge of my camera and he was sure to take shots of all of them riding the bucking horse and dressing up like cowboys. Such a supportive husband!!

3. I'm thankful that we were able to buy Russell a new car on Saturday. We got him a 2007 Toyota Corolla that is slightly used. It will be perfect for him for work. Since he's already put about 10,000 miles on our CX-7 since December, this will be a better choice gas price wise. Our CX-7 takes the most expensive gas because it has a turbo engine, and it only gets 18 miles a gallon. His new car will get him 35 miles a gallon, takes less gas, and takes the cheapest gas!! ALL GOOD NEWS!!!

4. I'm thankful that I'm now driving myself around! My seizure medicine is (and has been!) working, so we feel comfortable with me driving now. Since we got Russell the Toyota, I'm driving the Mazda, which I LOVE!!!

5. I'm thankful that my parents took amazing care of my 1998 Honda Civic. Yes, we still had the old blue civic. My step dad has been driving it for the past few years, and they have been sure to take extra good care of it, giving it lots of TLC. Well, last night we decided to sell it at CarMax. We held onto it while we had 1 car, just incase we ever needed it for something, but now we don't. So, we took it up there just HOPING we could get SOMETHING for it. Turns out they gave us $2500.00 for it. That's amazing to me. It had over 150,00 miles on it and is 10 years old, but my parents took really good care of it.

6. I'm thankful because with that money from the Civic we will be able to pay off our credit card debt! :)

7. I'm thankful that "D" (as mentioned 2 posts ago) and Kennie's summer basketball season starts tomorrow night. Our first tournament is this weekend. I'm so excited for them. I'm praying that God will make them better friends. Kennie is not handling having "D" around very well.

8. I'm thankful that my mom and I are speaking again. Long story, but we weren't, and now we are!

9. I'm thankful that my God had my dermatologist call me back. My "spot" is still there, but I was too scared to call back about it. I just kept thinking it would go away, but it hasn't. They called last Friday just to check on it. When I told them it was still there they said that they want to see me ASAP, but only when all the doctors have appointments available so I can see all three at the same time. I wasn't willing to take off of work for it, so I'm going next Friday when we have a weather day. I'm so glad that they called and checked on it, and listened to my concerns when I told them it wasn't better. We will see what they say when it's three doctors.

10. I'm thankful I only have 14 more days until summer, school days that is. Two of those days are half days, so that's even better. I've had a great time with my kids this year, but I'm tired. I was so nervous about moving up to fourth grade, but I think it was the best choice for me. I've loved my kids and the age they are at. You can joke with them, but they know when you are being serious and they need to stop. This time last year I was counting down the days and so excited for the last day. I was so miserable and just ready for it to be over. Although I am counting down the days this year, it's only because I'm exhausted. I will truly miss these kids, they have taught me alot this year. I will enjoy my first few days of summer, as I lay on the couch and rest, but then I'll be sad, no doubt.

Alright, enough of the sappy stuff. I'm just really thankful today and feeling very blessed. Hopefully I'll see the positive things more often. :)

want an amazing blog design???

2008-05-07T17:10:00.005-05:00

So, the talented person who did my blog design has offically started her business!! She has VERY reasonable prices, and does a great job. I wish I had an ounce of her talent. Go check out Pink Armchair Designs NOW for a beautiful new layout, for a great price. She has a contest going now for a free design, but even if you don't win, you should still buy one!!

Tagged!!!!

2008-05-02T10:06:00.003-05:00

I've been tagged by Kara. So, here you go!! :)

4 jobs I have had in my life:
1. day care "teacher" (Apple Valley, Sloan School, and the Lutheran Church in Huntsville)
2. secretary at the probation office in Huntsville - LOVED IT!! Mostly because I was able to keep up with all the people that were in trouble and in jail. It was great!!!
3. second grade teacher - for 2 years...I always thought second grade was my "calling", but now I'm not so sure.
4. fourth grade teacher - 1 year...LOVE IT!! My kids are older, have a little more attitude, but they are incredibly young people!!!!!
4 movies I have watched more than once:
1. A Walk in the Clouds - the only not "R" rated move Russell and I could go see when we were first dating (in 8th grade!)
2. Meet the Parents - we love that movie
3. Shrek - my nephew's favorite movie when he was younger, so we watched it EVERY time we were with him
4. Grease - that movie just makes me HAPPY!
4 Places I have lived:
1. Irving, Texas
2. Huntsville, Texas
THAT'S IT!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!
4 TV shows I watch:
1. DEA!!! Love that show. Since it's what my brother does, it makes me admire him even more.
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Big Brother
4. Biggest Loser
4 Places I have been:
1. Las Vegas
2. Canada
3. Washington D.C.
4. New York
4 of my favorite foods:
1. Chips and salsa
2. Mac and cheese
3. My mom's vegetable soup
4. Nachos
4 Places I would like to visit:
1. Hawaii
2. California
3. Austrailia
4. Arkansas (my favorite place to go!)
4 Things I am looking forward to in the coming year
1. seeing how my kids did on the TAKS tests
2. seeing my nephew start first grade!!
3. meeting my new students
4. Christmas vacation in Vegas with the Reagans
4 Bloggers I am tagging
1. Kasey
2. Katy (yes, I know, Kara tagged you already, but oh well!)
3. Mandy
4. Jennifer

update...

2008-05-02T09:28:00.002-05:00

So, my "spot" is still there, and it hasn't gotten any better. I'm pretty sure I want a second opinion, but I'm not sure when I'll get to that.
I plan on driving at the end of May. I'm not sure if that is when my "six months" is over, but my seizures were never reported, so I'm technically clear to drive now. With the medication, my seizures are gone! :) That is such a blessing.
Since I'll be driving soon, we will be getting yet another car. This will be the SIXTH car that we've had since we got married in the summer of 2005. That is crazy!!! We had the two civics, the jeep, the CR-V, the CX-7, and now another new car. Wow, sometimes we get ourselves into bad situations. Although, we really didn't have a choice when it came to getting rid of the CR-V and jeep, we just couldn't have two cars when I wasn't able to drive. But, now I can, so now we get another car. We are going to get something with good gas mileage that Russell can drive. Our CX-7 gets HORRIBLE gas mileage, so it will be nice to have something that does better for him. He drives all day, everyday, so he needs something more economical.
I have a kid in my class that we have kind of adopted. Sometimes I wonder if we are doing the right thing with our time and money, but I think this is what we have been called to do. Kennie and Sarah are so special to us, and really like family. We didn't intend on getting attached to another kid, but we have. He is in my class this year. At the beginning of the year, I was warned about him. Apparently he can be a trouble maker, and I've learned this first hand. But, even though he could get himself into trouble, I could tell he was a good kid. I saw a ton of potential in him, but he was told other people he would never amount to anything. Seriously, people that WORK AT MY SCHOOL TOLD HIM THAT!! THAT HE WAS WORTHLESS!! How sad is that? Like that would encourage him to do the right thing? So, I decided we would prove them wrong. I got him signed up with Kennie's basketball team late in their winter season, and he was able to practice with them twice a week. This privledge completely changed his attitude and behavior. He started behaving and his grades went from failing to all A's and B's!!! Isn't that amazing?? Just a little bit of encouragement and something to work for was all he needed.
Last night Russell and I went to a "parents" meeting about signing him up for summer basketball. This is a select team, and he's not that good yet, but the coach is willing to let him play. So, we are signing him up and paying for that. Everything in me wants to not do this, because it's incredibly expensive, and kind of strange, I know. But I figure if it's what God wants, then it will be done. So, I can either kick and scream, keeping my blessing to myself, or I can willingly do as told. So, that's what we are doing. This will also involve some summer traveling with the team, it should be interesting. He is so excited, and so is Russell, so I guess I should be too! I'm thankful that I have a husband who supports my crazy desire to help these kids out, without ever questioning me.

moved appointment...

2008-04-24T19:50:00.002-05:00

I moved my appointment to today, I just couldn't wait any longer. When I got there, they asked me lots of questions and had two doctors look at the spot. After looking at it and talking "doctor talk", they decided that it doesn't look like cancer to them, atleast not in it's current state. This spot is currently healing. They suggested coming in when I get a new one so they can do a biopsy on one in its early stages. So, we will do that. I should feel at peace about this, but I don't. I tried to pretend like I was, but I'm not. So, that's it for now...

Dr. appointment...

2008-04-21T20:28:00.002-05:00

I don't know much. I know that it's a skin ulcer that needs to have a biopsy ASAP. However, since I took today off to join Sarah at the zoo for her field trip, I don't want to take another day off for the biopsy before the TAKS test. So, since the test is over next Wednesday, I'm going in Thursday afternoon for the biopsy. The dr. didn't feel comfortable doing it today because he felt like he might find something that would need to be removed once he got in there. Lots of things could cause skin ulcers. Things like infections, stress, and cancer are a few. The infection is pretty much eliminated because I tried the medicine used to treat it and it didn't work. I'm not overly stressed (or wasn't when this started). So, I'm a little scared. I just want to make it through this week, get my kids ready for the reading TAKS next Tuesday and math on Wednesday, and then I can worry about myself on Thursday. We will see how it goes.

Well...

2008-04-16T19:09:00.003-05:00

So, I'm scared to go to the doctor, but I've given in. I have an appointment for Monday to go get my spot looked at. The antibiotics helped the spot on my stomach, but not the other. Unfortunately, the remaining spot is where my mother previously had cancer, so I am scared. I'm taking a personal day on Monday to join my "niece" for her field trip to the Ft. Worth zoo. After that Russell is going to take me to the Dr. so they can do a biopsy or whatever they need to do. So, we will see how it goes...

little scares need big prayers

2008-03-30T11:03:00.003-05:00

I've had this spot on my stomach for about six weeks. It's about dime or nickel size. It's red and swollen and hurts really bad. My stomach hurts from it; not like a stomachache, but like pain. In the last week it started getting a little rash around it, so I decided I should see someone about it. Actually, my best friend Kasey saw it and strongly encouraged me to see someone. So, I did. We went in thinking it was a staph infection, not good, but workable. I have another little spot similar popping up, so we figured it was spreading. The doctor looked at it and said it wasn't staph, we were so relieved. Then he said it was possible just a regular infection that got out of hand, or it was a type of skin cancer. Not your typical skin cancer, something less severe, but it's treated the same. When he looked at the second spot he was fairly convinced that they were both infections, but still unsure. He explained that he would give me some strong antibiotics to take for the week. If those don't work by Thursday we go back to have a biopsy done on the major spot. At the age of 25 (or any age of course) I never wanted to hear the words biopsy or cancer.
We are hoping the meds will work, but they haven't yet. The rash is bigger and the spot is the same. Here are my two major concerns: 1. I've been on antibiotics almost constantly for the last 4 weeks for what we thought was a cold and pneumonia. Those antibiotics didn't help this spot. 2. This spot showed up in the same exact place I had severe stomach pain last summer and was told I had an infection in the lining of my stomach.

So, that's where we are. We are just hoping we see some improvement by Thursday and we can move on.

Happy Easter??

2008-03-23T19:36:00.006-05:00

So, today started out well. It was a little chilly, but still nice out. We had a lovely lunch with Kasey and her family at Babes Chicken. Hm....that's some good chicken!! :) Well worth the wait, but I'll have to say the service was friendlier in Burleson than in Carrollton. After lunch we went to visit my mom for a little bit. After leaving there we were going to run by the store to get some Kleenex for my classroom. My kids have runny noses but won't bring any tissue for the class, so I'm stuck buying it all the time. I didn't want to forget tomorrow, so I asked Russell to run me by Walgreens by the school so we could get some and then drop it off on our way home. We exit the highway, and the next thing we know we get hit.

Apparently Russell going 10 over the speed limit exiting the highway wasn't fast enough for the dude behind us, so he decided to go around us to prove a point. He didn't need to cut back in front of us since there were no cars in the right lane, he could have just stayed there and gone as fast as he wanted. However, he got out of the left lane, into the right, went around us, and cut us off and got back into the left lane. However, he came back into the left lane a little too early and he hit us. I was furious. It didn't seem like he was going to stop, so Russell told me to call 911, so I did.

The guy did end up pulling over, got out of his car yelling he didn't hit us, claimed to not see the scratch on our car, and then he saw me. Well, I taught his kid two years ago, and his nephew last year. As soon as he saw me he was a little more cooperative, until he knew I was on the phone with 911. Once he knew the cops were on the way he was ready to leave. He gave Russell his "insurance card" to copy down, but rushed him the whole time. He was gone in about a minute. We couldn't even get his license plate with all the rush. The cop did show up and was nice enough to run the VIN number we got off of the insurance card, and well, it's a bad number. He asked where we thought the guy went, and we told him he claimed to be hurrying to meet someone at the mall. So, the cop asked us to follow him to the mall, and we did. We didn't find his car in the parking lot (and it was a very distinctive car). The cop suggested that we call his "insurance" first thing in the morning and make sure it's real, if not, call him back so we can file a report. So, hopefully it will all work out. The car is fine, it's just cosmetic damage mostly, just frustrating.

Apparently, he couldn't see this!! No, the black line isn't supposed to be there, he caused that too.

The scratch...up close and personal.

Luckily the damage is just cosmetic, so if this guy ends up with bad insurance, we can wait to get it fixed. It's hard to see in this picture, but it's there, I promise!!

Easter!!!

2008-03-22T13:16:00.015-05:00

So, tomorrow is Easter. I used to love Easter time as a little girl. I always got several Easter dresses and got to pick just the right one on Easter morning. This was mostly because my mom would get me one, my step mom would get one, and my grandmother would make one. So, on the day of I would have several choices. :) I loved hunting Easter eggs, and being the youngest grandchild, I forced the family to hunt eggs until I was about 15!!

Now that we have a niece and nephews, Easter takes on a new meaning. Last year I did Easter baskets for Kennie and Sarah, and that can be pricey!!! They have been begging us to go to build-a-bear, so I decided we would do that instead of Easter baskets this year. Yesterday we went along with Kasey, Lee, and baby Jameson to go see the Easter bunny, and then we went off to build-a-bear. The kids had a great time! I don't have any pictures of their bears, it was slightly stressful. I did get pictures of the kids with the Easter bunny though. Have a happy Easter! :)

Amazing new parents, Kasey and Lee, trying to wake baby Jameson up so he could meet the Easter bunny!!

Baby Jameson, waving off the paparazzi...

He finally decided to pose with the bunny for me.

Sweet Sarah, waiting to see the Easter bunny...

Although he didn't want to, Kennie finally agreed to have his picture made with the Easter bunny. Sarah was just as happy as could be. :)

It's been awhile....

2008-03-01T19:10:00.002-06:00

I haven't updated in awhile..sorry. Things have been fairly busy and hectic. My are kids taking the first of three TAKS tests this Wednesday. I feel fairly good about it. They have worked so hard and this week they showed me they are ready for the big day. There are some kids that wouldn't be prepared no matter what I did. Then, there are some kids that came further than I could have ever imagined. I'm so excited to see their results. My only fear, at this point, is that I'm too confident in their abilities. However, they've worked so hard, I can't imagine their hard work won't pay off. I was so nervous about this year, but I adore my kids. They drive me crazy some days, but they are just kids. It is so hard to remember that everyday. Sometimes we expect them to act older than their age and we forget they are just children. So, if you think about it, pray for teachers and kids this week. It will be stressful!! I may not be stressed at this point, but I'm sure I will be as the day gets closer. Russell and I have to go cover all educational materials on my walls tomorrow. Basically, my entire room will be covered with green butcher paper. I'm picking green (assuming it's still there) for good luck. :) Now that we are close to the test my kids are (surprisingly) getting excited! They are ready to prove themselves, which makes me happy.
My seizures have gotten better. I started a new combination of medicine that seems to be working much better. Hopefully I will be able to drive in August or September. That's assuming the seizures will stay away!
That's it for now. Today was a long day for us. Our "niece and nephew" (Kennie and Sarah) had basketball games ALL day, so we are worn out from that. For some reason, sitting in bleachers all day can be exhausting. But, we wouldn't trade it for the world, we love to watch them play and have fun.

trying to catch a break...

2008-02-17T11:04:00.002-06:00

So, we had the new dog problem that cost us some money, and then we found out that we owe a TON of money for taxes. Can we catch a break?? We were told (adamently!) that we wouldn't owe this year since we bought a house last year. To say the least, I was very upset about it. Since stress adds to the seizures, it's been a rough weekend. The doctor changed my medicine for the seizures last week. The new medicine is helping the seizures (maybe?) but it tears my stomach up. So, it's been a rough couple of days. I keep praying we will catch a (financial) break but we don't. I guess we'll just keep praying.
In other news, after we took Lucy back to her owner, Maggie cried all night, she was so incredibly depressed. I want to get her a companion to play with during the day but we have to be sure it's the right one, and it has to be healthy!!! So, we will see how this plays out.

not meant to be??

2008-02-14T14:21:00.002-06:00

Well, apparently the owner of "Lucy" wanted her back. Of course, she was found Monday morning, but for some reason they just called today for her. We are sad, but we realize maybe it wasn't meant to be for whatever reason. The worst part is the amount of money we managed to spend on her in one day. Man, vet bills and one trip to PetsMart can be costly!! Now I feel guilty about trowing money away on a dog we had for less than one day. That's what credit cards are for, I guess. I'm hoping they will give us some of the money. I would if someone found Maggie and took good care of her, but I don't expect them to. Money is just a temporary thing, right?

Valentines Day

2008-02-14T09:43:00.002-06:00

I told Russell not to get me anything for Valentines day, since we got a puppy that was going to need shots and what not. Well, the school secretary just walked in with roses!!! I'm so shocked. Russell isn't that kind of guy. If I tell him not to get me something, he typically doesn't. He believes that I'm okay with nothing if I say I'm okay with it. The other day my mom sent me a beautiful fruit basket from www.ediblearrangments.com (you should check it out!). It had strawberries, chocolate covered strawberries, pineapples shaped like stars and flowers, and grapes. It was so wonderful. Then I got a puppy. Now, I've got roses. Man, I've been spoiled rotten.
My kids brought me some "goodies" as well. I got some perfurme (hm...can't wait to wear it...), flowers, bears, candy, some really cute boxes, and other and random things.

family of 4??

2008-02-14T08:39:00.003-06:00

Yep, we are now a family of four. We have adopted another little girl, this time from Lewisville. She's a "schnoodle" - a schnauzer, poodle mix. She weighs less than 10 pounds, she's black/brown/and white, and she's very indpendent. Maggie desperatley wants to be friends with her, but Lucy (oh yea, that's her name) doesn't want much to do with Maggie. Maggie just follows Lucy around the house and Lucy just kind of runs away from her, occasionaly growling back at her. Maggie finally barked her loud bark last night and Lucy quit the whining and growling. They quit running in circles at about 11:00 and came to bed, in our bed!! They both slept, peacefully, with us all night. At 5:00 the running started again and so did we. Somehow our one hour morning routine turned into two. I'm not sure how that happened. We took her to the vet this morning. We want to see how old she is, what kind she is (for sure), what shots she needs, and why she is humping everything in sight. I'll post pictures tonight. Hopefully I can get some sweet ones of her and Maggie together, that might be tricky. She's named Lucy after Lucy on Charlie Brown...the very bossy and independent Lucy on Charlie Brown. She is living up to her name.

seizure drama...

2008-02-08T08:12:00.000-06:00

So, I called the dr. the other day because this new medication is also not working to end the seizures. Actually, the combination of BOTH medications doesn't appear to be working. My mom was just sure it was because I wasn't taking the full 800 mg a day of the new medication (simply because I couldn't take it in the morning, it makes me so exhausted). So, I call the dr. and ask what I should do. They suggest taking both 400 mg pills at night along with the 150 mgs of the other medication at night. Wow, that's a lot of medication!! So, I started that two nights ago and I feel like a zombie!! I don't THINK I've had a seizure since then, but I'm not totally sure. Last time I made that bold statement Russell told me I was wrong and had a seizure just that morning. So, I guess it's good if the medicine works at 800 mgs, but I feel like I can't function, plus I'm in bed by about 7:30 or 8:00 each night. Again, I feel like a child. When I was talking to the dr. this week she was concerned about the fact that I haven't really responded to any of the medication, I'm concerned as well. She wants me to have some blood work done and possibly some other tests. I'm not entirely sure what we are looking for, but I'm glad we are looking. I find it odd that these seizures just popped up out of nowhere, with little explanation.
My 6 months of waiting for life to get back to normal has now turned into 8 months and there is no end in sight. The earliest I can drive is middle of August, if the seizures end now, and they haven't, I don't think. I'm sure that sounds petty, but it's very annoying not being able to drive and get what I need when I need it.
Are you tired of hearing about the drama of seizures?? Well, get used to it. That's what I'm dealing with on a daily basis. Yesterday I was writing with a red marker on the board and noticed it matched my shirt. All of a sudden I started crying because I didn't remember putting that red shirt on or owning that red shirt. My sweet kids are very understanding, but it's annoying having those things happen. It's just emotional and scary. That's it for now.
My kids are at music. We are celebrating the 101st day of school today. Wow, 101 days of school!! Typically people celebrate 100 days of school, but we decided to celebrate 101 days since that fell on a Friday, and our kids wouldn't care about the other day. They are excited about all the fun stuff we have planned, other than the 101 multiplication and division problems. I'm excited about that part, it will take them F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!

today...

2008-02-05T20:15:00.000-06:00

It's been a rough afternoon. I found out one of my uncles has a rare form of stomach cancer. They are doing some aggressive chemo but aren't sure if it will do any good. The worst part of it was that my family knew a MONTH ago about it but chose not to tell me. I'm not terribly close to him, but I would have still like to have known about it. Due to my recent seizures they seem to think I can't "handle" finding out about his cancer. I think that's ridiculous!! It makes me mad because I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle knowing someone in my family is sick. I already feel like a kid again. I can't go anywhere alone since I can't drive, can't shower at home alone (had a seizure in the shower the other day, woke up almost drowning, Russell hadn't heard me fall), can't cook, can't clearn, etc. Now I can't handle knowing someone is sick?? So, I'm not happy about it. So, just for everyone's information, I'm not a freaking child!!!!!

My blog got pimped!!

2008-02-05T17:39:00.000-06:00

How do you liked the new blog design?? I LOVE IT!! Thanks to my friend, Jennifer, at http://pinkarmchairdesigns.blogspot.com. She did a great job capturing what I wanted for a header without me having to give any real ideas. She's so creative and artsy!! I wish I had been given that type of talent, but I'm glad someone was! :) Thanks again, Jennifer!! You rock!!! You made my crappy Tuesday all better. More on that crappy Tuesday later.

jury duty...

2008-02-04T14:43:00.000-06:00

So, I called in sick to jury duty today. I wasn't sure you could do that, but I had no choice. I started getting sick last night right after we took the kids home. They came over to watch the super bowl and as soon as it was over I felt horrible. I was up most of the night, getting sick. I'm starting to crave a baked potatoe, so maybe I'm getting better? Stomach bugs are the worst!! I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow so I don't miss another day of work. I guess we will see...

I'm a God momma!!!

2008-01-29T10:03:00.000-06:00

Jameson is here!! He was born on Sunday evening!!! We are so happy he's here with us finally. Actually, he's not "here with us", he is still in Pennsylvania!! We can't wait for them to be back home!! My kids are currently reading about the Alamo and I'm attempting to not fall asleep. My new medicine mixture makes me so sleepy. She wants me taking 400 mgs of this new medicine twice a day, but since I can't barely stay awake after taking it just at night, I don't think I'll be taking it in the morning as well. Last time I went to the neurologist she also told me I have to wear one of the fighter pilot masks at night (not really, but a sleep apnea masks), but I don't want to. I'm sure it would help me feel more rested when I wake up in the mornings. Apparently I completely stop breathing during the night and that's why she wants me to wear it. That's kind of scary huh?? I went to the clinic last night. I have a severe sinus infection. I was thankful that was all it was!! I guess I should tend to my sheep.... :)

Kennie and Sarah

2008-01-25T22:35:00.000-06:00

A few posts ago I talked about Kennie, our nephew/God son/son. His little sister, Sarah, is also very special to us. She is six but we met her when she was three. She has so many of Kennie's good qualities, but she is a little bit more school oriented. :) We will never have to lecture Sarah about grades. She is in Kindergarten this year and doing great. She is also an athlete (like her brother) and we often kid that she will someday be better than him. She is currently on an 8 and under basketball team, even though she is 6 and could have been on the 6 and under team. She does well every game and we love to go watch her play. She's such a tomboy, but for Christmas she randomly wanted dolls and accessories!! Of course, we couldn't resist that kind of request. Kennie and Sarah play basketball for the same organization, the BIG DOGS. BIG DOGS stands for Believe in God, depend on God's strength. Not only do they teach them how to play sports, they also teach them how to be good kids. Tonight they had jersey night. This is the night when all the families are invited to watch the teams reveal their uniforms for the season. Of course, we couldn't miss the opportunity to go and support our kiddos. I've attached a few pictures below. Just before Jersey Night they both had practice, so please excuse the tired and frazzled looks. :) They really are precious!!!

My new favorite picture of them. :)

Sarah dancing, Kennie not smiling - all in all, just not cooperating.....

After revealing her teams jersey for this year....

Sarah in her first BIG DOGS jersey!

Kennie watching other teams reveal their jerseys for this year.

Kennie after revealing his jersey for this year at Jersey Night. Sorry for the blurry t-shirt, we are just now learning to use the camera we've had for two years.

SEIZURES STINK!!!

2008-01-23T20:03:00.000-06:00

So, it appears my new medicine doesn't work. If it does work, it hasn't yet. Last night I went to the restroom to blow my nose. The next thing I know I'm waking up in the bathtub, shower curtain and rod on top of me, my head is POUNDING, and Russell is beating on the door frantic. Apparently I locked the door and then had a seizure and fell into the tub. He couldn't get into me but I was out of it and couldn't get to the door. He got in using a wire hanger. So, apparently using new medicine WITH the old medicine isn't working, or it is S-L-O-W-L-Y working. I'm hoping it will start working soon. Having seizures really stinks. It makes me reconsider my entire future. I do have to wait 6 months after I'm "seizure free" to drive, but what happens after that?? I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable getting another car of my own because I will always wonder what will happen when the seizures start again. Will I ever feel safe driving my nephews around again? What about my own kids? It's just scary. We have been very blessed that the worst thing that has happened (so far) was I fell off of a horse. Apparently I've been having these seizures my entire life, think of all the wreck potential there!!! To top it all off, my seizures are made worse with stress. Unfortunately, life is always stressful, but everyone has a stressful life. I'm just praying summer gets here fast. I'm also hoping Russell gets a big enough raise I can just be a stay at home wife!! I'm thinking that won't happen...haha...I'm knowing that won't happen!!! I can wish, right???

learning patience

2008-01-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

Jameson wasn't born today. After the amnio came back, it was decided that it was in Jameson's best interest to wait a little bit longer. So, the parents-to-be will wait in Pennsylvania while we wait in Texas. The plan, for now, is to wait until next Wednesday for Jameson to be born. We are hoping he has other plans!!! Keep Kasey, Lee, and all of our families in your prayers. We are learning patience, which is NEVER fun.

K and L

2008-01-21T20:12:00.000-06:00

Looking for a Kasey and Lee update? I just talked her and they are safely in Pennsylvania, on their way to Johnstown. Luckily, their car has a GPS system so they should be just fine. When I talked to her they were about 30 minutes away from their hotel. I'll let her post more details, if she wants. I've got a few crib pictures and one of the sleepy, yet very excited, parents to be. We plan on painting the nursery this weekend along with getting the house ready for the arrival of Jameson. I'll post more details as I get them and they are approved for broadcast. :)

Jameson's crib. This wall will be painted the light blue with darker blue, brown, and khaki circles.

This is Jameson's womb bear in his crib. How precious. :)

Kasey and Lee about to get on the plane at the airport.

no fancy title

2008-01-21T19:45:00.000-06:00

I can't come up with a fancy title for this one...deal with it.

I went to the doctor last week and told her my seizures haven't stopped. She gave me some new medicine, so we'll see how that goes. They also X-rayed my arm that is STILL swollen and bruised from my horse riding adventure 2 months ago. I don't have those results back yet. That adventure is when I had a seizure and fell off of the horse...that's when all of the seizure fun started....

Our best friends started on the biggest adventure of their life today. They are in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania adopting a little boy. More details on that as I get them. For now, you can know that he is due by c-section tomorrow (Tuesday), and his name will be Jameson Luke. We just can't wait to meet him.

I thought I'd take some time to introduce you to my "adoptive nephew", Kennie. He's not really our nephew, we aren't really sure what to call him. Our son, nephew, God son, just not sure. I met Kennie at "meet your teacher night" the day before school started my first year of teaching. He was the first kid to walk into my first classroom my first year of teaching. I will never forget how incredibly nervous I was that day. It was a day I had prepared for, but didn't feel totaly ready for. When Kennie walked in he had such a sweet and innocent smile. That year Kennie and I got very close. His dad showed up at school after being out of his life for 5 years. This was a very emotional time for Kennie. Without going into too much more detail, we've been to court with Kennie, we've cried with Kennie, we've cheered for Kennie at championship football and basketball games, we've lectured him about grades, we've celebrated every holiday with him, and we've simply fallen in love with him. It's a relationship that nobody will understand. We don't have kids yet, but I imagine this is close to the love you feel for a child of your own.If we could, and if his mother ever needed us to, we would take him as our own. So, this is Kennie. His little sister, Sarah, will haver her own post next week. We love her just as much. This is from when he was a second grader (he's now in fourth grade).

The other night when we told him about Kasey and Lee adopting a baby he informed us that we were not allowed to have kids until he was 18. When I asked him why, he said because he needs us to just love him for now. :) How sweet is that??

Jameson Luke

2008-01-18T07:45:00.000-06:00

Our best friends, Kasey and Lee, found out on Thursday that they have been chosen to adopt a baby boy due on Tuesday. This is my letter to baby Jameson Luke for his baby book. I'm so excited to meet him. Please pray for Kasey and Lee as they prepare for his arrival, especially since Kasey has strep throat!!!!

Dear Jemeson Luke,
I may be your God-mother, but you can call me Aunt Blaire. I hope you will always know that you are just as special to me as Jackson and Carson are. The day we found out you were coming was a day I will never forget. Your mom and I taught at the same school (can you believe they let us do that?) and the kids got out at noon. We had gone to lunch and were trying to get some things done that afternoon since we were kid free early. Your mom and dad had been picked by a different birth mother earlier in the week. That mom was having a little girl. We were waiting for that mother (the one of the little girl) to have a phone call with your mom and dad to make sure it was the right fit. Right after the phone call was scheduled we received another (and very unexpected) call about YOU!! We were told that there was a little boy that was to be born the following Tuesday (keep in mind, this was a Thursday!). His very loving birth mother had chosen Kasey and Lee to be his parents. With tears in her eyes, butterflies in her stomach, your mother frantically tried to get in touch with your dad. He, of course, was on some aircraft and couldn't be reached. I knew you were the right one for them, I just knew you were. I prayed they would make the right choice. Your mom was faced with a new decision, a little boy (you) now or a little girl due in 6 weeks. Over the next hour the Lord made his plan very clear. We told the social worker for your birth mother that we would have our decision by the end of the day. We planned on continuing with conference call with the little girl's birth mother (at 4 that day) and then making the decision based on gut feeling from that point. However, her birth mother wanted to delay the conference call until MONDAY!!!This was THURSDAY!! We knew this was God's way of showing us that YOU were the baby for us instead. Once the decision was made our hearts were instantly in love with you. Before we knew it your dad was at the school with the biggest smile on his face looking like a proud daddy. Your grandma was there too, shaking with excitment. Just the thought of you coming was enough to make us all giddy!! I haven't met you yet but I can't wait until I do. The next few days will be full of your daddy and uncle Russell clearing out your room and preparing it for your arrival. Your mom and I plan on shopping and buying lots of precious little things for you. We love you and can't wait to see all of your little fingers and toes.
I hope you get your moms patience, zest for life, laughter, contagious smile, and dependability. From your dad I hope you get his willingness to give 200 % into everything he does, his love for others and desire to help them, and his genuine want to make your mom happy. From your birth mother I hope you get her courage and ability to make good decisions, even in emotional times.
We love you, we have prayed for you, and waited for you for a long time.
Love,
Blaire and Russell

my husband :)

2008-01-16T20:14:00.000-06:00

I have an amazing husband. We had a goal this week to NOT eat out until Friday night. For us, this is HUGE. Not eating out for breakfast, lunch, or dinner Sunday - Friday is seemingly impossible. We typically eat out atleast one meal a day. It's just the easiest thing for us to do. I currently can't cook (due to the seizures, can't be around the oven/stove), and I don't enjoy cooking. When we came up with this grande idea on Saturday night I figured we would never stick with it, but we have!!! Russell has cooked every meal since Sunday morning. On Sunday morning I woke up to muffins he made for me and he has cooked each meal since then. He just finished cooking and cleaning up dinner and now he's making brownies! Isn't that sweet?? So, we will see how tomorrow goes, hopefully we can stick with our goal and not eat out until Friday night. Have a blessed day!!!

Let the drama begin...

2008-01-15T08:16:00.000-06:00

I guess the title of the blog....they call me the queen of drama...is appropriate. I'm home from work with pink eye, in both eyes. While Russell was getting ready for work this morning I heard a loud noise following by lots of yelling and inappropriate words. He had kicked the bed. We think his foot is broken where his foot and little toe connect. He is currently hobbling around the house waiting for his doctor's appointment. Our precious dog, Maggie, ate half a vanilla candle yesterday. She is probably full of wax, but we will NOT take her to the puppy ER again.
Having pink eye has been horrible. When I woke up yesterday morning I announced to Russell I thought I was getting pink eye. He quickly told me I wasn't, my eye looked fine, and that I was probably sleepy. Well, as the day went on my eye got redder and the grossness started. So, I made him take me to the clinic and alas, I have pink eye!! This morning I woke up with gunk in BOTH eyes, now it's in BOTH eyes!! I couldn't see anything.
I was recently diagnosed with partial complex seizures. This is a condition the doctor thinks I've had since I was a child. I've been called clumsy all my life. Instead of being clumsy, the doctor thinks maybe I've just been having small seizures and collapsing. Oh, the things you find out when you turn 25!! When I've fallen and gotten hurt people called me dramatic, guess I wasn't so dramatic after all!!

UPDATE:
Russell's foot isn't broken, thank goodness, it's just jammed.